secrets
by Envious sky
Summary: Whether it was good or bad, any secret will get worse as time goes on.
1. realisation

**i got bored and wanted to make FF10 more depression, and ended up with this. i've had the first three chapters written up for heaps long now, i just couldn't come with a name for the story.**

**Disclaimer: i do not own ff10.**

1 REALISATION

Yuna lay awake on her bed, listening to the sound of the wind whistling through the trees. It hadn't even been two weeks since she had defeated sin. Not even two weeks since he'd been gone, and the pain was already unbearable. What she was going through was making her sick. She'd stop eating because she would just throw it up afterwards. She was becoming tired and weak. Every time she tried to sleep she couldn't. She just wanted him to be next to her, to hear his voice. But even though she wished it, she knew it was impossible. He was gone; she'd never see him again.

She stood up. She stood next to her bed and continued to listen to the wind. It sounded like it was whistling, what a familiar sound. It was almost like the whistle he had teached her, but much more quieter of course. It was nice to listen to. But it wasn't helping any. It was just making her pain worse, having to listen to that familiar sound. She had to get away.

She walked out the door then to the exit of the village. She looked behind her and took a look at the temple. She had to brush away a tear that had rolled down her cheeks. She remembered how that was where she had first seen him. She turned and walked off.

Yuna sat down on the beach. The cold water lapping at her feet. She was staring at the moon, tears running freely down her face. She wanted to forget her memories of Tidus were causing her so much pain. She knew it would hurt. But she didn't think it would be this bad. Her heart felt like it was being ripped apart. If she could forget, this would all go away, but not being able to remember her love would hurt just the same.

Yuna put her head down and looked out to the horizon. The water looked to calm and beautiful. The moon's reflection bouncing off it making it shine. She got up and tiptoed into the water. She stopped when it got to her knees. She shut her eyes, feeling the strong wind flow freely through her hair. She opened her eyes. No matter what, she couldn't escape her memories, this couldn't escape this.

This moment reminded her of the night where they had kissed in the middle of that beautiful spring. She buried her head in her hands.

Why do I have to go through this! She felt like screaming out. I don't deserve this. She walked back onto the sand and fell to the ground in a fit of sobs.

"Why! Why can't you be here, I need you!"

She crawled into a ball on the ground. Her tears stained her face and flowed onto the sand. Her sobs got louder, she hit the ground with her fist and screamed, she pulled at her hair with her sandy hands

"Why do I have to go through this? Oh Tidus I need you so much! Why do you have to be gone? I've never wanted anything as much as I've wanted you!"

Yuna spent hours on that beach, crying and called out his name. Eventually she mustered up the strength to stand, she needed to go back. The sky was lighting up, soon people would be waking up. But after she took one step a horrible feeling ran through her and she fell back down and vomited. Her sight became dizzy and then she entered a fit of coughs. There was definitely something wrong with her. She managed to make herself stop but she started to gasp for air. She felt so weak; she had eaten near to nothing in the past few days. She was losing strength. She pulled herself to the waters edge and splashed some water on her face to clean it.

She got up again, but more slowly this time, not wanting a repeat of what just happened.

She gradually made her way back to the village.

By the time she got back the sun was close to rising. She walked back inside, climbed onto the bed and faced the wall. Yuna had gotten sick before, but this time something felt weird. She knew it wasn't because she was starving herself; she'd gone for almost a week without eating when her father had died. Then she froze, she figured out what it was wrong. Even though she had been starving herself, she didn't appear to be losing any weight, and then she remembered what had happened near to end of her pilgrimage. He was away from everyone else; she hadn't been able to sleep so she had gone to him. The reason for the fear running trough her wasn't because of something impossible, it was the truth.

She was pregnant.

**the thing that makes this all worse is, i'm not reviving tidus at the end. mua ha ha**


	2. sorry

**the first few chapters are kinda short. almost laughed when i relised that the first chapter was only a little over 900. the chapters will get longer as it goes on.**

**Disclaimer:i do not own ff10, this disclaimer is pointless to have.**

2 SORRY

Yuna spent what felt like an eternity frozen in that same position, her head buried in her hands, sitting at the side of her bed. Her emotions were so messed up; she didn't know what to do. She felt like crying, she felt like screaming, and felt like ripping everything around her to pieces. She wished that she was only dreaming, that she'd wake up and every thing would be alright. But that was nothing more than a wish; it would never be the truth.

She was pregnant. And to make it worse, with Tidus's child. She held back the tears that were threatening to fall. This made all what she was going through so much more worse. She was hurt enough by the pain of losing him, but to be pregnant with his child. She felt like her heart was going to explode into a million pieces. What would everyone think if they found out? What would Lulu and Wakka think? Even though she knew that they knew about her and Tidus's love, they had no idea how far they had gone.

Yuna was so afraid; would they be able to look at her the same? It wasn't like she could keep this a secret; they would have to find out sooner or later, this wasn't something you could ignore and forget. It was better for her to tell them rather then letting them find out by themselves that would make it less bad. Yuna felt more comfortable letting Lulu know first. Hopefully she wouldn't flip as much. But how was she to say it? Even though Lulu usually checked on her in the morning to see if she was alright, would she even manage to get the words out? Yuna felt so scared about telling Lulu that she thought maybe she could just let her figure it out by herself. But to keep a secret as big as this, it would make everything worse. Telling her was the best thing to do.

Yuna lay back down and tried to get what little sleep she could. It was only a couple of minutes later when she heard footsteps signifying that someone had just entered the room.

"I saw you outside last night, what were you doing" she heard Lulu say.

She lifted her head to face her before answering her question.

"Um, I was just walking around."

She didn't want to tell her it was actually because she was getting annoyed because the wind sounded like it was whistling, that might sound a little crazy.

"You have sand in your hair."

"Ah" Yuna reached up and felt her hair.

"I was at the beach, but it was dark, so I tripped."

She didn't want to say the full truth about that either.

"Yuna, you're acting really weird, what's wrong?"

She looked at Lulu; she wasn't going to leave without getting an answer. This was her chance to tell her. But she couldn't just say it straight off, she didn't even have proof that she was pregnant or not. But she went off at herself in her head for still wanting to deny the truth. Lulu was still staring intently at her. She obviously knew something was up. Yuna was usually good at concealing her worries.

"You're not alright are you?"

Yuna nodded yes.

"So what is it then?"

Lulu noticed that something was really wrong with Yuna. She didn't even have to guess that it had to do with Tidus being gone. She'd known that Yuna had loved him but she hadn't released how deep that love had run until now. She was really suffering. She had basically stopped eating; she had barely gone outside since getting back to Besaid. Even though the other villages really wanted to see her. All she really did was stay inside and look at the wall, she was horribly depressed. It had to be more then her missing Tidus. Lulu remembered that she hadn't gone as strange as Yuna currently was when Chappu died, but then again, she had left Besaid for a couple of months when he died. She hadn't wanted to be near the things that had reminded her of him. Lulu took a step away from Yuna. She had a thought run through her head. That made her think that she was going crazy, but horribly enough it actually made sense. Yuna had been starving herself, but she didn't appear to have lost as much weight as you would from doing that, she was far too sick for just starving yourself to be able to do.

Crap, could she be pregnant? No she couldn't be! Could she?

Yuna wouldn't have done a think like that! She was only 17!

Sure she was in love with Tidus, but they wouldn't have done something like that would they?

Lulu bit her lip, but what if it was the truth. What was everyone going to think if they found out? They wouldn't be able to look at her in the same way, not even Wakka. Yuna looked up at Lulu's worried face. She was trying to cover it up with her hand, but she could see past it. And she knew from that look on Lulu's face, that she knew. The tears that she had been forcing back fell down her cheeks, she tried to stop but she couldn't., she tried to brush them away, but more kept coming. She was sobbing uncontrollably. She felt Lulu hug her tightly, through her tears she managed to say,

"Sorry Lulu"

"There's nothing to be sorry about Yuna, this isn't your fault."

"But" Yuna stuttered "I'm the one that got me into this mess"

Lulu thought for an answer that would comfort her. "You didn't choose for this to happen"

Yuna didn't say anything else after that; she just continued to cry in Lulu's arms. Lulu was glad that nobody else was awake; she didn't want them to see Yuna in this condition.

She hadn't seen Yuna cry this much since one day a couple of months after Yuna had first come to Besaid. When she had been talking to her and Wakka. The conversation had somehow gotten to Yuna's father Braska. And Yuna had remembered that she had no family left, that she was alone. That was the day where Lulu had first said that she and Wakka would be Yuna's family. that she didn't need to be alone. She had stopped crying almost instantly. Oh how she wished that she knew what to say now. She felt bad for not being able to help Yuna. She was crying her eyes out just muttering sorry over and over. Lulu pulled away and looked into Yuna's tearstained face.

"Yuna, if anyone should be saying sorry, it's me. I don't know how to help you. But I promise you, that I will find a way."

She brushed the tears off Yuna's cheeks, which was beginning to stop now. She put her arms around Lulu and hugged her

"Thanks Lulu"

**and so lulu finds out about it. i'm not making wakka find out cause i don't like him. no idea why just don't**


	3. what to do?

**the last chapter was a little longer then the first. won't write much of this for awile, i have writers block for this story.**

**disclaimer:don't own ff10, square enix does**

3 WHAT TO DO?

Lulu and Yuna sat on the side of Yuna's bed. Thinking of what to do.

"You know you can't keep this a secret. People are going to find out sooner or later."

Yuna nodded yes in reply.

"You don't want them to, do you?"

She didn't reply, she just started to play with her necklace but from the look on her face, it was obviously yes.

Lulu felt bad. Even she was ratterling her brains for an answer, she couldn't find one. If this was happening to her and not Yuna it wouldn't be half as bad. But because of the way that everybody viewed Yuna, that was what was making this so bad. Then she figured it out, a way to stop everyone from knowing.

"Yuna, do you remember how after Chappu died, I went away from Besaid for a couple of months?"

Yuna looked up from what she was doing. "Yeah"

"Well what if you went away from Besaid doing your pregnancy?"

"But what would you tell everybody why I was gone."

"Hmm" Lulu rested her hand under her chin.

"I'll have to come up with an excuse. I'm not that bad at lying"

Yuna looked at Lulu, it was good that Lulu was helping her; she hadn't even gone off at her when she had found out, but Lulu knew how blinding love can be. The only thing that bothered her was that she would have to lie to everyone, maybe even Wakka. Sure it was for the best, but it still really bothered her when she did have to lie to people. But lying wasn't much different than pretending to be happy when your not, that was something that she knew all about.

"Hey Lulu, where would we go if we left Besaid?"

Lulu looked to Yuna,

"There's someone I met. In Luca, her names Henah. She said she knew of a woman who would look after the children of woman were unable to look after them. It's the perfect place. I don't know why I didn't remember that earlier."

"So I'd be staying in Luca?"

"You wouldn't have to worry, Henah's a wonderful person. I'd be with you too."

Lulu smiled a little at her, it was good that she was trying her best to stay happy right now.

Yuna was about to ask another question but was stopped by a sharp pain in her stomach, she cringed in pain and her hands went to her stomach. She felt like something was moving up her throat. She covered her mouth and made a run for the bathroom. Where she spewed up in the toilet. She took a couple of breaths then washed her face in the sink. She went back to Lulu who was still sitting at the edge of her bed. "Um, sorry about that."

"There was no need to say sorry, your going to have to deal with that many more times anyway."

"I am aren't I?"

Their conversation was cut short when they heard footsteps coming closer and closer. They looked up to see Wakka enter

"So that's where you were Lu, so what were you talking bout?"

Yuna looked towards Lulu, was she going to tell him?

"Oh, it's not important, I might tell you later"

"Um, ok then?"

Lulu got up to walk over to Wakka.

"Yuna didn't get much sleep last night, it would be best if we left her alone so she can try to get a bit more"

"Yeah sure Lu, but really, what were you talking bout?"

"I told you, it's nothing important" Lulu began to push Wakka out of the door way.

"I'll tell you later ok"

They walked out leaving Yuna alone. She laid down on her bed and tried to sleep. She was still having trouble. She really felt bad for it, but it she starting to annoy her when she saw Lulu and Wakka together. They were starting to like each other more, it was very obvious. They were much luckier than her right now, she wanted Lulu's words to comfort her, and even if she made it look like they were they weren't. It wasn't like Lulu had gone through something like this, how was she to know what this was like?

**wakkas hard to write in the story for me, so he won't appear that much.**


	4. To Luca

**wow, these chapters have been short, they will get longer eventually, definitely when this gets to X-2. i'm having trouble writing this cause i feel like i'm out of touch with 10. i've gained such an obssessing with 7 lately that i find this story hard to write, like it's sorta hard to get into the characters minds. when i get a working ps2 i'll start playing 10 and 10-2 again so my writing may get a little better.**

**Disclaimer: i do not own ff 10. this disclaimer is pointless.**

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><p><span>4 to Luca<span>

A month had passed before lulu had made a convincing excuse for why she and Yuna were leaving Besaid for a couple of months. She knew that lie which had been told to Wakka was a little different than what had been told to the others. It was a more detailed lie really. Lulu hadn't told her all the excuses that she had made were, she said it didn't matter if she knew them. She felt bad enough for lying to everyone on Besaid.

Yuna placed a hand on her stomach, the bump wasn't very noticeable, it was smaller then it should have been thanks to her lack of eating. Lulu had gone off at her more than once for it, but she didn't really care, she was having trouble taking advice lately.

Yuna shifted in her bed to get in a more comfortable position. She and Lulu would be leaving soon, so it was best if she got as much sleep as she could now.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

A few hours had past before Lulu had come to take her on the boat to Luca. Not as many people came to say goodbye, because they knew this time that there wasn't a chance that she would never come back. Wakka had told her a million and one times to be careful, even though he knew that she would anyway, so he was just making sure. She had noticed an odd look in his eye when he was saying goodbye to Lulu, one that she'd never seen him have before. Maybe there was something happening between them, if them having got so much closer lately was not a clue already.

Yuna waved goodbye from the side of the boat to the people on the Warf as it sailed off, Lulu doing the same.

Yuna steadily made her way to the front of the boat, Lulu coming up next to her.

"I remember when we were leaving Besaid before, Tidus was talking to me. I don't remember why; but we just started laughing, for no reason at all."

"I saw that, I had been wondering why that happened."

Yuna was smiling a little, "I think it was because we couldn't think of what to say, so we were in a bit of awkward silence. To be honest, somehow that was really funny."

"If it wasn't you wouldn't have laughed"

"Right" Yuna placed her hand on her stomach. She wasn't feeling the best right now, and the swaying of the boat wasn't helping in the least.

"I think I'm gonna go inside, I feel cold"

"Alright, I'll go in too in awhile, I feel like being out here a little longer."

"Okay Lulu, bye'

Yuna turned to leave, Heading down to the back of the boat to go inside.

There wasn't anyone in the hallway as she went down to find a room where she could get some rest. This was kind of good as she really didn't feel like seeing anyone right now.

She found a room with a bed in it, so she went in and hoped on the bed. The boat was swaying so much that sleep was hard to get, but eventually she managed to drift into a comfortable sleep.

Yuna felt a hand shake her, she still felt really tired so it was awhile before her mind caught up. Through half open eyes she could partially make out Lulu standing in front of her.

"Sorry for waking you, it probably wasn't easy getting to sleep on a boat. But you do have to eat you know. You have to try and stay healthy. If you take bad care of yourself it's not just you who will be damaged."

Yuna shook her head, both saying yes to what Lulu had just said and to make her more awake. She saw that Lulu had a plate of food on a table next to the bed Yuna was on.

She got up and took a look at the food. It was just some vegetables and some bread.

She knew that she should eat, but she still didn't want to.

"I know what your thinking Yuna, but you have to eat; you're just going to make yourself sicker if you don't"

"I know but,'

"But what, if you want to stay healthy than you have to stop starving yourself."

Yuna wasn't looking Lulu in the face, instead keeping her sight on the ground. She was right about that, like all the other times she'd said it.

She took one of the slices of bread and began to eat.

"Good, I'll come back to make sure that you've ate all of it. We should be getting near Luca soon, so we won't be on the boat for much longer "

Lulu left the room. Yuna didn't want to eat, but starving herself wouldn't just be hurting herself, she had the baby to worry about as well. And she didn't want anything bad to happen to it, especially since the baby's dad was already gone as well. She finished the meal before lying down again and going to sleep. She vaguely heard Lulu come back in and take the plate before sleep overtook her. her dreams would have been nice ones, if she had not been thinking of the time when she would have to give up this child.

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><p><strong>this story should hopefully start to get more interesting in a couple of chapters time.<strong>


	5. Mina

**i would have got this out on saturday, but then i decided that it would be much funner to catch the hylian loach, but before that i had to catch i fish bigger than 15 pound to make the sinking lure avaliable then get the sinking lure, then catch the loach, it took me two hours because i decided that the loach was a bastard, then i had to go to bed, then my sister wouldn't give me the computer, then i had to do an art assignment. then i got to finish writing this.**

**please review, please**

**Disclaimer: i do not own ffX**

**5 Mina**

When they arrived, Yuna noticed that there was a lack of people in Luca. Though you should probably expect that considering the last time she was here it was blitz ball season.

Though the lack of people here was good, it meant less chances of someone recognising her. Still she kept her head down the entire time that Lulu was leading her to wherever they were going. There seemed to be even less people here then in the rest of Luca, so she chanced to put her head up and look around. She figured out that lulu was leading her to an area which had an enormous amount of trees. She spotted a mid-sized house past all the plants, only just. As they got closer she also saw two small girls about the age of 4 or 5 playing in front of the house, with a girl about twice their age watching over them. The older girl looked over to her and gave a small smile, but Yuna turned her head to not face her.

They reached the house and the girl turned her face away, but Yuna could still see that she had the same mischievous looking smile on her face. It was a kid that answered the door; she was a little younger than the one that had been smiling at them. She also had a small boy clinging to her pants leg.

There seemed to be a large amount of kids here.

"What do you want?" the girl asked.

"Is Mina here?" Lulu asked her

She seemed to be a little lost in thought for a second, and then she leaned to the side to look at Yuna, who looked down at her feet. She gave out a sigh, and almost looked like she was about to laugh.

"Yeah, Mina's my mamma, she's here, do you want to come in; I'll take you to her"

"Yes, that would be nice, thank you"

The girl stepped to the left to allow the other two entrances. She shut the door then led them down a hallway. The boy that was clinging to the girl's leg let go and ran into a room with tree other boys inside.

Yeah, definitely a lot of kids.

They passed a couple of other rooms before they were led into a small room with a sleeping woman on a bed in the corner.

"Mamma, company" the kid called out.

The woman slowly came out of her sleep, making muffled sounds and rubbing her eyes as she became aware of reality.

"Huh?"

"Company!" the kid seemed just a little bit angry.

"Don't yell Emily, its rude" she sat up, still rubbing her eyes. There was still some time before she began to really take notice that there were others in the room.

"Oh, right company"

She got up and walked across the room

"Um, hi"

Yuna peaked out from behind Lulu just a little, still not really wanting that much for people to look at her.

"I think you have a new patient mamma" Emily said with an evil grin.

"Get out Emily" her mother told her

"I think you're just confirming me"

"Out!"

"Ok ok" she waved her arms in the air as she left.

"Stupid kid' her mum muttered under her breath before deciding to talk to the people that were still waiting in front of her.

"So, what do we have here?"

…

"You were one of Henah's friends weren't you?" Mina asked Lulu

"Yes" she replied.

"I knew I'd seen you somewhere before, you do look very familiar."

Lulu didn't seem to want to go straight into the fact of why she was here, though it was just a bit obvious that Mina had a clear idea why, she knew it was to do with Yuna, who still had her head down. Mina had not yet noticed who she was; maybe her eyes would be a dead giveaway.

"Where is she now?" Lulu spoke up.

Mina bit her lip, looks like the answer wasn't a good one.

"Awhile after you went back to Besaid, she was on a boat, but it got attacked by sin, she didn't survive." She answered grimly.

Lulu's expression went straight to shocked, and then changed to sadness.

"What happened to her son?"

"Sei? I'm looking after him now. You saw him didn't you? His hair is bright orange." Mina had a little grin on her face, but it was still over shadowed by her sadness of telling Lulu what had happened to her friend.

"Orange, just like his father then, how cute."

Yuna saw a look on Lulu's face that seemed strange, she hadn't seen her look like that before, what was she thinking exactly?

"Anyway, we should talk about why you're here, shouldn't we Lulu?"

"Yes" her former expression left.

"I can guess that from the fact that there's someone with you, it's got nothing to do with you."

A second passed before she answered.

"Yes"

Yuna didn't feel that good about this, Lulu was about to tell a stranger what they wouldn't even tell Wakka.

"So who are you kid?"

Mina was facing Yuna now, but she still wouldn't put her head up

"Put your head up." Lulu ordered her.

So she did finally, Mina's who opened wide she second she caught sight of Yuna's dual coloured eyes.

"Your, Yuna aren't you?" she questioned. She seemed really confused.

"yes." She felt a horrible feeling in her chest as she answered. She really didn't want to be doing this

.

"Why are you here?" dumb question, she already knew the answer, but of course she had to ask anyway.

"I think you already know the answer Mina" Lulu spoke up.

"Right, who… who's the father?" she was having trouble getting words out of her mouth, as she was still in shock.

"He was one of my guardians." She finally answered for herself.

"What happened to him?"

Pain was immediately evident on her face after that question.

"He's gone"

"Oh, sorry, I shouldn't have asked"

"No, it's alright. You just wanted to know"

There was an extremely awkward silence that started, Yuna no longer wanted to talk and Mina was scared of what she should say next.

"Kinda understand why you went to me, people would be kinda shocked if they found out that the high summoner was pregnant and they had no idea who the father was."

Mina led Yuna to the room that she was to be staying in, Lulu had gone off somewhere.

"You know you have a lot of kids. Are any of them your?"

Mina turned back to answer.

"Three of them yeah. Emily, she's nine, you saw her. Then there's Luke and Black, their three and six."

"Who are the other kids?"

"Well I'm pretty sure you saw Shyde and Luka out-front, their five and four. Their mums dead and their dad's to poor to look after them, so I am, but he visits from time to time. Then there is Byx, he is seven, his parents are dead, but I looked after his mum while she was pregnant, but then she got sick, and passed away. The last one is Sei, he was Henah's son. Her husband died when he was working for the crusaders, sin attacked, apparently Lulu's boyfriend died in that same attack, it was why they got along so well."

"So you look after seven kids? How can you stand doing it?"

"Hmm, I guess I just love kids, it's going to be nine soon, you're not the only girl I'm looking after you know"

**i shall give a cookie to anyone that reviews, or can guess who the other girl is, cause it's not an oc**


	6. a case of Amik

**i'm amazed i actually started writing this when i said would (in the authors note for REI i said i would start writing it the next day) and i did amazingly**

**this is not a sad chapter, but i do find it kinda funny that i was writing a story named depression, while listening to the Nyan cat video, i've gained an addiction to the bloody song.**

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><p><strong>disclaimer: of course i own ffx, i wish.<strong>

**6 a case of Amik**

Yuna awoke from the sound of laughter coming from the children playing outside her room. She had been having an enjoyable dream, shame that she'd been woken. She never got back to sleep whenever that happens. Why do kids always wake up so early?

She had been in Luca for close to a month now, still not all that sure if this was the right thing to be doing, but it was a little too late now, she was quite obviously pregnant. If she came home while looking like that it would be quite a shock. Wakka would be angry, no question about that.

She got out of bed to see what the kids were making such a fuss about. Opening the door one of the girls, Shyde if she could remember right, came dashing down the hall and almost ran into her. She was followed by another girl; she had been the girl who had been outside with Shyde and her younger sister Luka when she and Lulu first came here. She'd been told that her name was Amik, she wasn't one of Mina's kids; she helped Mina from time to time, which was a little odd because Amik didn't look much older than ten. She came back up the hall carrying Shyde in her arms, who was trying to struggle to get out of the older person's grasp; but Amik's grip was too tight for her to manage, when she finally figured that out she stoped and gave up. Amik gave Yuna a smile and explained to her what was happening,

"Sei found a jar full of sugar and starting eating it, couple of others joined in, Shyde here is having the biggest sugar rush"

Well that explained why the girl seemed to have turned so hyperactive, her and Luka, from what she'd seen so far were very quiet kids.

"Bye Yu" Amik left with a grin.

Huh, she'd never been told what her name was; Mina had even made her wear eye contacts so nobody would recognise her from her unusual eyes, apparently she believed that there was a chance that the older kids might know what the high summoner happens to look like. There was something off with Amik.

Yuna followed Amik into the room where the little catastrophe happened, she found Lulu holding down Sei and the other boy Byx, who were jumping up and down, it showed clearly that they were under the effects of a sugar rush.

Byx was usually near mute, so this seemed to be odd behaviour for him, but Sei on the other hand, who was always totally hypo, so this didn't seem odd at all for him.

It took awhile for Lulu and Amik to calm down the kids; they told them to go back to their rooms as punishment for destroying the kitchen.

Amik led Shyde and Byx back to make sure they went there, while Lulu was left with Sei.

He wrapped his small arms around her legs, and tried giving her his cutest look,

"Don mad me go bar Ru "he said in his almost indistinguishable baby talk. Yuna translated it as, 'don't make me go back Lu'

"Sorry Sei, you're in trouble"

He hugged her leg tighter

"Plres?"

That I believe was please.

"Sorry Sei, come on I'll take you"

He looked sad for a sec than his face lightened and he let Lulu lead him back to his room. Little kid really seemed to like her. Yuna had been told by Mina that Lulu looked very much like his mum, Henah. Sei wouldn't really be able to remember her, but maybe his blurred memories of her almost tricked him into thinking that Lulu was her, or something like that, Mina's explanations never really cleared anything up.

Some days ago she'd asked her what was up with Amik, she knew her name without being told it, and she did look some bit different from what everyone could remember of her, so it shouldn't have been too easy for her to figure it out. And yet she did. Mina's answer was simply, 'she's special' but what was she referring to exactly with that?.

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><p>Later on in the day when Yuna hadn't known what to do, she sat down and watched some kids play a game of tag. It was Black, Luke and Luka playing, the three who had caused the mess in the kitchen were still being punished, and Emily said she was to old to play with them, that girl acted so much older than what she was. She was rude to her mum a lot, and utterly refused to play any game what so ever with her younger siblings, or anyone else for that matter. You'd think she was a teenager already, even though she was still just nine. The three playing the game however, at least acted their age. Luke and Black were somewhere in the middle of being hypo and being quiet, so they were very nice kids. Luka was more quiet but still got along with them well. They were the nice trio. The evil trio were the kids currently getting punished, they destroyed a lot of stuff, rather by accident or not.<p>

"Yuna heard a door open behind her, turning her head she saw a woman about her age come out then exited from the front door. That was the other girl or 'patient' as Emily described it, that Mina had mentioned before. She looked around a month or two deeper into her pregnancy than Yuna.

She didn't know what her name was, neither did Mina, she wouldn't give it, and didn't seem to plan to at all, so Mina had settled in calling her Jenna.

Jenna had dyed her hair brown, it was streaked by other colours showing that she'd dyed it multiple times before that, so nobody could tell what her natural colour was. She didn't talk to anyone, and barely went out of the room she'd been giving, she was in a much worse place than where Yuna was, she was doing her best not to let very thing get to her, but Jenna was letting it come to her full force.

"Stop staring at a door Yu, people'll think you're a crazy person"

Yuna shifted her gaze to notice that Amik had taken a seat next to her.

"H…hi" she greeted quietly.

"Wow your annoyingly quiet ya know?" Amik laughed

Yuna tried to ignore that comment.

"Well sorry if I am"

"Oh, don't take it as an insult, but you are a little sometimes. But what are you supposed to expect from someone that's depressed"

"Hey, I'm not…" But Amik stopped her before she finished.

"Don't deny it, I know you are, acting like your not doesn't mean your not, it's more like your just having an attempt at lying to yourself"

She had a weird view about things it seems.

"How would you know if I am, if I don't act it?"

"Hmm?" a smirk crept onto her face "because I hear what you say in you head, and it sure don't sound like no sunshine and lollipops."

"You hear what I say in my head?"

She was weirder than what had been originally thought.

"I'm a little psychic, some people are easy to hear than others, and you ticked all the boxes, I basically can hear every thought that goes through your head,"

This was a weird conversation.

"Wouldn't that be annoying?"

"Of course it is" Amik laughed "it drives me nuts, I can get headaches when I'm in a room where nobodies talking."

"That'll be horrible"

"sure is, but you wanna know something funny, when a person dies, if they ticked all the boxes, I'll no longer be able to read their mind at all, if in life they ticked no boxes, than when their dead, it'd be clear as day."

That wasn't funny.

Amik rose from her seat to leave, but Yuna took hold of her hand right before.

"Wait"

"What?"

"How old are you?"

"Me? 19"

what?

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><p><strong>i promise i was not listening to the Nyan cat video while editing this, ok thats a massive lie.<strong>

**something that you might notice as i start writing more or my stories, i have an obsession with psychic OCs, if i don't have one in a story, i'll go insane. i do my best to make their personalities and powers different, but they always have similarities.**

**Reviews shall be much appreciated. arigatou.**


	7. when good things make bad

**awsome, i feel like writing and the holidays have just started, i may have another chapter out before the end, so that will break my chain of updating monthly. yippy**

**disclaimer:no own ffX**

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><p><span> 7 good things made bad<span>

Yuna had stayed in her bed the entire morning. She was swapping between sleeping and staring out the window. She was hungry but wasn't in the mood to get out of bed, so she stayed where she was.

Something that Amik had said to her had lodged itself inside her head and refused to get out. The thing about that she was trying to pretend that she wasn't depressed, that she was fine, well not fine, but somewhere close to it.

She was lying to herself by doing it, she didn't like doing it but it really just came by instinct now, she'd spent years acting happy when she was sad; so when she had any negative emotions she hid them with positive ones.

Doing that made it harder to get better, but even knowing that didn't make stopping it any easier.

By herself, she didn't stop what she was feeling to get to her, when she was near others she felt so uncomfortable letting people in on what she was feeling.

She didn't want to fake her emotions, so she had decided to be by herself so she didn't start doing so.

Being in her own company was making her realise just how bad she was feeling, how stupid she felt even.

As she was trying so hard to not listen to what went around in her head, she almost forgot how bad she missed Tidus, she had reduced the pain by forcing him out of her mind as best as possible, not like she could completely, taking into account her current situation.

Now she felt bad for doing so, it was like she was trying to forget him, and that was exactly opposite of what she wanted.

She couldn't help the tears that fell silently down her cheeks.

She felt stupid as well because of what she was doing right now, was there a point to this, sure if she told everybody about her pregnancy they would see her differently, but maybe she could make them understand, after all, she did love it's father, so why would it be bad?

Why did Lulu let her do this? Now when it was born she would have to leave, and she didn't want to let that enter her head, just thinking about it for a second made her feel like she was in horrible pain, her heart felt like it was being ripped apart!

She shook her head to try and get her mind to something lighter, and far of this topic.

She didn't do very good and ended up with tears falling down her face to her pillow.

She made out the sound of her door opening over the sound of her crying, she didn't want any one to see her cry, she tried stopping, but of course failed.

"You should get up; Lu might get worried about you"

She recognised the voice to belong to Mina.

"Why does it matter?" she asked through her tears.

"She worries about you you know, you should care" Mina came and sat at the end of Yuna's bed.

"Try to cheer up why don't you? I've seen to many depressed people, might make me depressed."

She didn't sound any bit sad, if anything happy, how could she be feeling that right now?

"Why do you sound so happy, there's nothing funny about this"

she waited for Mina to reply, she didn't hear it so she began to expect she wasn't going to give one, she turned her head enough to see what the woman was doing, she had began to twirl her hair around a finger. The expression she held looked a lot sadder than what her voice had shown, but it still had the hint of happiness in it, why ever she did.

"It has nothing to do with what is happening. And I do generally would like you to have an attempt at trying to cheer up by the way. But it's kind of cute; you look like an old friend of mine"

That wasn't really what Yuna was expecting her to say, an old friend?

"Friend?"

Mina nodded, "yeah, Ayla. She died when her daughter was five, her husband didn't die much longer after that. I've always missed her. I felt horrible for her daughter at the time to, because she would have nobody. She had relatives of course. But they lived far away."

Yuna had never seen mina look so sad, her and Ayla must have been good friends.

"How did she die?"

Mina stopped twirling her hair and looked up

"She was on a boat and Sin attacked it, I tried to forget about it, but the only thing I did was make myself forget about why she was on the boat on the first place. Then I thought of how stupid it was that I did that, if I forgot that she was dead that would mean that I would have to forget about her too. I didn't want to forget about my best friend"

It seemed that many of the people in Mina's life had there's ended by Sin. Even with him gone, it was still a common story.

"Did she live in Luca?"

"No, in Bevelle" mina got up from the bed. "I lived there for a while, I moved to Luca only a couple of years ago, Emily was almost three and I was pregnant with Black. I had Byx with me at that time too, he was still very young, and I didn't think it wise to be on a boat, but I did it anyway. I got lucky, Ayla wasn't"

"Mina, what happened to your husband?"

"he died on the same boat"

Even Mina had bad things in her life, but she didn't let them make her down, her emotions weren't fake, they were real. She was happy. As stupid as it was, Yuna was actually envious of her.

"You coming?" Mina called from where she was near the door.

"Yeah" Yuna followed after her

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After Yuna had had something to eat she went about to find Lulu. She found her talking to Sei, who obviously was refusing to leave her alone.

"Like uh hare, like uh hare!" he was giggling and jumping up and down, Yuna was confused how Lulu understood him so easily. She was sure he was saying something about her hair, maybe that he said that he liked it, but he was talking so fast it wasn't easy understanding.

"Yes yes you like my hair I understand, you don't need to go on"

He continued to jump

"Yea I do"

He tried climbing onto her but she forced him back, it didn't stop him attempting though.

Yuna noticed something that she was confused she didn't notice it before, Sei had really peculiar eyes. They were mainly a purplish black colour, but they were speckled with blue, grey and red. Wonder how he got that.

While she was trapped in her thoughts Yuna noticed that lulu had stopped Sei from trying to climb onto her head.

He was a cute kid, his orange hair was a startling difference from his dark eyes, but it actually made him look cuter. Lulu was leading him over to where some of the other kids were playing, so she would no longer have to deal with him attempting to climb on her head.

Lulu saw Yuna watching her and gave her a smile, probably happy that she was up and not crying to herself in her room.

Yuna left Lulu alone to try and find something to do to pass time. Hanging around the house all day wasn't very entertaining. She was a bit over three months pregnant now and had no idea how she would stop herself from going insane in the next couple of months. She was already bored of everything in this house. Sleeping was getting to be the most fun thing nowadays.

She took a seat on a chair in the dining room while thinking of something that would be somewhat amusing.

Amik came up to her then, she had the most mischievous looking smile on her face. Almost like she was thinking something evil.

"What do you want?" Yuna questioned her,

"Nothing much, little bit bored" she answered.

"You don't live here do you? Don't you have somewhere else to go?"

"Yeah, but my friend was being mean so I want to stay with Aunty Mina for awhile." Amik grinned

"She's your Aunty?"

"Yeah" Amik answered acting like that was a stupid question, "didn't you know?"

"No, if I did I wouldn't have asked"

"Makes sense, you're asking lots a questions, you have more right?" She chuckled

"Um, kinda. A little while ago you told me that you were 19, but to be honest you don't look much older than Emily, how is that possible" Yuna inquired.

"Hah?" Amik said "how is it possible?"

"Yeah, you look way to young to be 19"

"Well" Amik moved in her seat slightly. "I've got this thing, it's like; you know that disease that makes young people look old, well it's like the opposite of that"

She explained as it was the most normal thing in the world.

"That's not very normal"

"Course, if I didn't have it I would think it didn't exist."

Amik got up from her seat and turned to leave, "but I'm bored now so bye"

She left Yuna alone trying to figure out what she should do. Maybe she could've gone to talk to lulu, why didn't she do that before? It wouldn't be boring like the rest of this place.

Almost like she knew what she was thinking Lulu walked into the room and took a seat next to her, what good timing.

"Are you alright? You don't look very good?" she asked.

"No I'm alright," she lied

"You know what I was just thinking'. Yuna said

"What is that?"

"That Sei looks a bit like a child Wakka with funny eyes"

Well she hadn't been thinking that right at this moment, but she had been thinking that when she was watching Lulu and Sei before.

"You really think that?"

"Yeah"

"I think he looks more like Chappu."

"I guess he does, I just don't remember what he looks like as good"

"He did die awhile ago now, not all faces remain clear in your memory, even if you want them to"

There was such sadness in Lulu's voice, but there was truth to her word, when loved ones die sometimes it gets harder to remember things about them, no matter how much you cling to the memories, they will someday disappear. It was something that really scared Yuna. She didn't wish for things in her life to become nothing but a memory. It was horrible when such things happen, she felt bad that she couldn't remember the face of her mother and her father's was so blurred in memories. But she knew that if something like that ever happen to her memories of Tidus, that she would never have worse in her life. And it must be hurting Lulu, that the face of someone that she loved was no longer clear, how that must hurt.

"You said that Sei had the same hair colour as his father, so his hair was orange too?"

"Too?"

"Yeah, both you and Henah were with someone that had orange hair, it's a funny coincidence right?"

Lulu remained silent for a minute.

"Yeah"

This talk wasn't something that Lulu wanted to talk about it seemed, she kept on going silent every now and then.

"Is something up?"

"Sort off"

"What?" Yuna questioned

"There's something that I've not really been honest about, it's stupid that I never said anything about it in the first place, and I really want to let someone know about it"

"what is it?"

"Sei isn't Henah's" she announced.

"What? So who is he?"

"He's mine" she confessed.

"What. Are you kidding?"

"No, I found out that I was pregnant after I found out Chappu was dead, I panicked, even though I knew people would help me, I was scared. I didn't want a baby that didn't have a father, and I was scared of what people would think. Now that I think back on it, it seems so stupid. I don't know what made me act that way"

That sounded so much like what had been going through Yuna's head.

"Why did you never tell anybody?"

"Sometimes even if a thing isn't bad, keeping a secret for long enough will make it so."

"So why did you let me do the same thing?" she questioned Lulu,

"I left it up to you, whether you would choose to do it or not was up to you, I never forced you"

"Sorry"

"You have nothing to apologise for Yuna"

Lulu got up and left before Yuna was able to see the tears that were starting to run down.

Yuna did have something to apologise for whether Lulu thought she did or not, she thought that Lulu didn't understand anything, how wrong she was.

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><p><strong>for a story called depression, it hasn't been as sad as i would like it too. that sucks<strong>


	8. confusion

**this story needs to be more planned out, but i really felt like writing more of it, so i did, even though i didn't plan any of this chapter out first. not much really happens in this one i guess, I'm just using it to longing things while i try to come up with more anyway, enjoy**

**disclaimer:i no own ff10**

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><p><span>8 confusion<span>

In the month that followed after Lulu's confession, Yuna had started to feel more worse about herself than she ever had since she had came to Luca. She had thought that Lulu didn't understand, and so strongly believed it to. She had believed it so much that she hadn't taken one piece of the advice that Lulu had been giving her in the past couple of months. And things would have been better if she had at least tried to take some of the advice. She did remember that just days before they left for Luca that Lulu had told her that maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to stay, of course people would have been surprised to find out that she was pregnant at such a young age, but some people would have been able to understand, it wouldn't be like they had never heard of someone so young with a child.

If Yuna had known that Lulu had gone through the exact thing that she was going through she wouldn't have done any of this. But she shouldn't have done any of this anyway, god how stupid she was being.

"Stop calling yourself stupid Yu"

Yuna was taking away from her thoughts by Amik entering her room.

"You should stop that" Yuna demanded her, while getting into a sitting position in her bed.

"I wish I could, gets annoying sometimes" Amik said as she sat down with legs crossed at the end of Yuna's bed.

"But I don't have the slightest idea how"

"Isn't that annoying, being able to hear what people are thinking non-stop?"

Amik tilted her head to the side "depends on who ever I'm hearing really, one time it caused me to say to a Yevon priest or some other fanatical obsessed Yevon supporter that I would rather trust some faulty al bhed machine then trust them." Amik finished with a slightly creepy grin.

"Why the crap did you say that?" Yuna asked immediately from her confusion

"Cause I knew how corrupted Yevon was at that time, but every one I told thought that I was insane, so usually they would hit me with something" Amik shrugged,

"And if they couldn't find anything to hit me with at that time they would do it later or just totally flip at me for insulting their beloved Yevon."

"That's not really a nice thing to do, most people like that wouldn't harm people even if they believed in something that they found to be so horrid and untrue."

"You didn't hear what I said; I basically forced them to do it." She chuckled lightly.

Amik lifted herself of the bed to leave,

"But I'm hungry now so bye"

Did she always end her conversations like that?

Amik closed the door behind leaving Yuna to herself.

With nothing to do she went back to sleep.

Yuna was woken by some of the kids running past her room laughing like they always did, she would've like to keep sleeping as she had been doing, but if she had she wouldn't have wanted to get up to get some food to eat, as her stomach had been growling for some time, but she had been having such a nice dream that she hadn't wanted to get up. But as she knew she wouldn't get back to sleep now anyway, she chose now to get up.

When she entered the kitchen she saw a girl that she hadn't seen before on one of the chairs, quickly she chose to turn away, but the stranger decided, even though she could quite clearly see that the other person was trying to leave, started to talk to her.

"Hey, have you seen Amik round here? She's been ditching me lately"

Yuna turned just slightly to see the girl.

She had light brown hair tied into a hair ponytail, she was around Yuna's age, maybe a little older, and was dressed in black all over.

"I don't know where she is, why?" Yuna questioned the stranger.

"I just want to know is all; she's been getting on my nerves more than lately, so I kinda just want to know"

She was making up an excuse; it was clear from both her words and expression. She wasn't at good lying, not in the slightest.

"You're not telling me the truth are you?"

The girl's face changed to show that she knew she'd been caught.

"Maybe…kinda…sorta" she stumbled with her words.

"What is it?"

"Well I'm not totally lying, just a little. I want to know where she is so a can bash her head in"

Silence

"Now I wouldn't tell you where she is even if I did know"

"Whoa whoa!" the stranger waved her hands out in front of her,

"I was being sarcastic, a little. I'm not going to kill her, but if she brings me too than I might hurt her, but..."

"If you're going to hurt her than why would I tell you?"

Their conversation was cut short when Amik ran into the room and stumbled upon entry.

When she got up onto her knees she noticed the girl sitting on the chair in front of where she just fell over.

"Ah! Ro…ku…a. Crap!"

Amik lifted herself up and dashed out of the room, Rokua jumped out of her seat and went after her; as she left the room Yuna could quite clearly hear her saying

"Come back here you annoying stalker!"

Well that was random. She heard a loud bump coming from the next room which Yuna believed was Rokua tackling Amik to the ground. She continued to hear similar sounds happen which she could tell was from Amik trying to get away from the crazy woman that was after her.

Why did Rokua want to hurt Amik anyway? What did she do?

Well aside from the obvious habit of purposely annoying people for no particular reason, that in itself wasn't enough for a reason as to what was happening now.

"Don't worry about whatever those two are doing; it's a common occurrence for them."

Mina came in and took a seat on the seat that Rokua was previously sitting on.

"They're friends, somehow, I know it sure doesn't look like that I know, but they are" Mina explained to her.

"Amik has some annoying habits, some I'm sure you've already seen some, so Rokua gets revenge for her annoying habits for attacking her, she doesn't ever cause for any bad damage to happen, she not intending to, but still" Mina scratched the back of her head.

"Sure makes Rokua seem evil right?"

"A little" Yuna wasn't all that sure how to answer; it was a sure thing that some of these people were weird, even if they found themselves to be normal. But there wasn't exactly such thing as normal anyway so what's the point of saying this, because what's normal to one person is weird to another, and vice versa.

Though strangely instead of a question about what was happening now, it was a different thing that Yuna wanted to ask about.

"Do you know much about the other girl you're looking after?"

Mina looked up to her,

"Jenna? No not much really, she had dyed her hair multiple times when I first saw her, so I don't even know what her actual hair colour is, and she's also wears contacts near non-stop so same goes with her eyes. And I don't know nothing about her past"

"Not a thing?"

"Pretty much, though when I tried to get her to tell me who her baby's father is, she told me that he left her and some time later she said something about Al Bhed's being stupid, so my best guess I that he is an Al Bhed."

"And that's all you know?" Yuna asked.

"Yeah, I find it rude that she said that Al Bheds were stupid, my best friend was Al Bhed" Mina started to sidetrack from the original conversation.

"Your best friend was Al Bhed?"

"Yeah, Ayla, I told you about her remember?"

"But you said that she lived in Bevelle, an Al Bhed wouldn't have been allowed to go near Bevelle at that time, how could she have lived there?"

A smile appeared on Mina's face,

"Cause of who she was married to, that's all. I'm well aware that you know of an Al Bhed woman that was married to a Yevon supporter. Though I guess you wouldn't be able to remember much about her."

Mina's smile widened as she could tell that it had just clicked in Yuna's mind who Ayla was.

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><p><strong>yay, why did i decide to call Yuna's mum Ayla, i forgot, but i like the name.<strong>


	9. life on repeat

**(1,732 words, fun) I went camping for twelve nights on a powered sight, no internet, but access to storys, wrote a new chapter for each of mine that I am writting at the moment. I have to say this before i go insane, sorry if you don't care, you can skip this. I caught a 34 pound Hylian Loach! It's still a stupid retard baby and hates me, but now I don't have to be sad over my friend beating me, cause we caught the same size fish. Now all i have to do is beat her in tp ( Me: 27, hers: 30) but now I really should shut up about zelda, **

**Enjoy**

**Disclaimer: No own ffx**

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><p><span>9 Life on repeat<span>

Time was moving slowly, being stuck in the same place was getting to Yuna more and more lately. She wouldn't have to be so stuck for much longer, just a couple months, nothing more. Still, that was a long time even if you tried thinking otherwise. Tricking your mind that a couple months was a short time, was a stupid idea, she needed something different to be a distraction for her mind while this was happening. She got out of her bed when the now familiar sound of kids going rampant around a not so big house get louder then usual. She suspected that something like last time it got so loud ( a kid opening the sugar jar) was the reason behind it.

Outside her room she saw some of the kids running in circles while, the others watched them, as confused as her. Mina was attempting to stop the crazy ones with no succssess, Yuna decided to try and give her a hand, not like there was much she could do, she didn't have experience stopping rabid children. None the less Mina was still glad for help. The ones going hypo this time around was Shyde and Luka, with Sei joining in, as he had a habit, from what Yuna had seen, of going insane if anyone else did.

"Why are they acting like this?" Yuna asked when she got a hold of Shyde to stop her causing anything else to break.

"The sisters' Dad is visiting them soon, Sei is being a copy-cat" She explained simply,

"He likes anything crazy" She added in as well.

When Shyde stopped having a go of eating yuna's arm (that's what it looked like) She continued the conversation,

"Has he always been like that?"

"Pretty much, even when he couldn't walk"

Luka stopped struggling against Mina's grasp so she was let go, Luka skipped over to her big sister, Who was in Yuna's arms. She let Shyde go and the two girls left the room.

Mina let out a sigh of relief, and gave Yuna a smile,

"One problem solved, just got to deal with this one,"

She referred to the little boy in her grasp that was begging to be let go. Yuna laughed quietly, before trying to bend over to his level, it was starting to get harder.

"Crazy little kid ain'cha?" She let out a giggle.

He stopped with his struggling and turned his perculiar eyes to Yuna,

"Yo Haj Prekky hare" She said in his babyish talk. He was still very young, so Yuna didn't care that she barely made out what he was saying.

"I have pretty hair?" She asked it both to make sure that's was what he said and because she wondered why he said it, but you can't get much of a reply from a kid.

"Yuh yuh!" he giggled happily"

He was so adorable, Yuna was starting to really like him.

"Looks like he likes you too" Mina said from behind Sei, as she was still holding him."

"Too?" Yuna looked up,

"You and Lulu, he both likes you two a lot" Mina grinned,

"But it makes sense for him to like Lu"

As Sei had calmed enough Mina let him go, He gave Yuna an unexpected hug before him and the other kids ran away laughing.

"Looks like he wasn't as calm as he looked" Mina rested her head in her hands,

"He's annoying when he's like that"

Yuna watched him run away until he was out of sight, Before again talking with Mina some more,

"But he's so cute"

Mina lifted up her head and faced Yuna, She didn't quite look confused but it was close,

"Maybe, but you don't have to live with him" It ended up hard to distinguish from laughs by the time she finished.

"Doesn't stop him being cute" She strugged,

"Well he likes you more, he'll be nice to you, not to me" She pointed out,

"Raising a kid that hates you is not easy"

"He doesn't look like he hates you"

"He doesn't like my company I guess, But that can easy as pie turn to hate when he's older" Mina was unsure of what she was saying, from looking at her expression. It didn't stay on her face for long, she twisted her gaze to the clock and was startled by the time,

"Crap, I've got to start making the kids lunch!"

She rushed to the kitchen to get on with that, Yuna looked at it after she was gone, Slightly surprised,

"Wow, I slept in a lot, no wonder I'm hungry." She almost laughed.

After lunch Yuna was left again with nothing to do, like she had many times in this place.

Amik sat down in front of her but she wasn't in a mood to talk, she believed Amik would start up a conversation none the less, but she as well stayed quiet. Yuna then remembered about how Amik had said things about hearing peoples thoughts, that was a logical reason for why she didn't get forced into talking when she hadn't wanted too.

"I'm a magical stalker" She said without emotion, resulting in it sounding rather creepy.

"Why did you just say that?" Yuna questioned after she got over her confusion on what had just been said.

"Just saying before Rokua comes back and tells you something in a very incorrect way of saying it"

"The girl that attacked you?" That memory was clear in her head, she still couldn't get over the fact that appearently the two girls were friends.

"yes, the one that attacked me, anyway" She chewed on her lip thinking of what to say next, but gave up and came out with the usual, "I'm bored now, so, bye"

She left in her usual way, leaving yuna alone, still extremely bored. Yuna relised something in her head, that dumbly enough hadn't clicked before, her stay here had been filled with random conversations that left her confused or bored and sometimes both. No wonder I'm getting bored, my life lately has been stuck on repeat. How on Spira am I suposed to survive another couple months in the least when I'm this bored when it hasn't been much more than three? Oh I'm doomed.

She had her head in her hands, but lifted it back up to see Sei crawling around. She'd seen that every now and then he reverted to crawling for his legs still weren't very strong.

"What are you doing Sei?" She asked kindly,

He looked up to her and stopped his crawling, sitting down on his bottom. At first sight it appeared he was chewing on his hands, but on closer expection he was eating his lunch still. He was a slow eater, still not able to shove it down like the other kids, he was the youngest after all.

"Yo haj prekky hare" Saying what he said before.

"I know, you said that before"

He tilted his head to the side, like he'd forgotten, before going back to normal.

"Yay" He giggled and claped his hands in a cute manner.

Yuna chuckled at his actions, he was a very cute kid, even if at his young age he was already making a mess of the house.

"Lu do to" He laughed again,

"Lulu, she has pretty hair?" She asked making sure that was what he meant

"Yah yah" She clapped.

He was a hypo kid, always with the laughing and clapping, this was a normal way for him to act.

Sei finally went back to eating the food still in his hand, afterwards he layed down on the floor. Yuna watched him for awhile longer before noticing that he'd fallen asleep. He was still cute even like that. She wondered if his parents had such habits when they were kids, not that she could easily find that out, the kid did have no grandparents. Wow that sounded bad even just thinking about it.

Mina came in eventually to pick him up and take him to his room, from the look of how exhausted she was it was predictable that she had been having troubles with other children, and so was why she hadn't came in earlier to check on him.

She gave Yuna a smile, and for no perticular reason, also mentioned how,

"You know your hair grows really fast," She had a quiet laugh, "That's an Al Bhed trait"

After being told that Yuna did look down on it, she'd barely noticed how right she was about it, she had gotten used to her hair growing at such a fast speed, sometimes she barely noticed when it had grown a subtantial amount at all. It's an Al Bhed trait? Wonder if Rikku's hair has grown any? Actually, I wonder where she is. Yuna hadn't seen her for awhile now, she doubted that she knew she wasn't on Besaid at the moment, she was off doing other things. Still she had to wonder about it.

Yuna's thoughts were disrupted by the sound of a door opening, she took a glance in the direction of the sound, startled to see the woman Mina called 'Jenna' staring right at her. She was a distance away, just outside her given room. she appeared more shocked to see Yuna than Yuna was to see her. She turned her gaze downsward and bit her lip, before hurrying to return to her room. She hadn't wanted anybody to get a clear look of her, she was terrified just from Yuna being down the hall.

Poor girl.

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><p><strong>Apparently woman's stomachs start getting bigger at around three months, so I'd say Yuna would be around 6 or 7 at current.<strong>

**Reviews shall be much appreaciated, danku.**


	10. curiosities

**(2,043 words, Hoorah) Would've got this up yesturday, but was having internet related problems. I went back to school today, first for the year, and tomorrow is the swimming carnival, the one which I'm not going to. So I have to stay at home, something is wrong with that. LoL**

**Disclaimer: I no own ffx**

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><p>10) Curiosities.<p>

Yuna was not having the best of days, her morning sickness had finally started to get bad, and not go away. It hadn't been like this until now; she'd only get sick around once a day, and if it came again it left quickly. But now it seemed like most her time was being consumed by running to the bathroom to throw up in the toilet, horrible. Mina had given her a puke bucket for when she was in her room, it helped in the nighttime, she could manage a couple more minutes of sleep which she couldn't get if she had to make a run for the bathroom, which most likely would wake up someone else, so it was handy in two ways. But still, it's not like it really helped anything.

Yuna had decided, to stay in her room for most of the day, so she wouldn't be making runs, because she had a bucket she could use right next to her bed. Staying in here was also a good oppotunity to catch up on the sleep she missed, despite how it was called morning sickness, she felt it worst at night, talk about missleading names.

Mina came in every now and then to empty the bucket. she had not much of a problem with it as when her kids got sick there was always one or two that couldn't stop vomiting.

Yuna was barely leaving her room now, she felt exhausted without really have done anything, so the only time she got up was when she had to eat. Lulu was making sure she didn't skip, she knew how sick she was feeling and also how she never wanted to eat much anyway; but she had ate basically nothing in the early part of her pregnancy, so doing it now as well could become harmful to the baby, saying it that way was why Yuna made sure not to skip any meal at all.

She was just past seven months at the moment, not long to go at all. she wouldn't be here for much longer, but she was more concerned over the baby being alright.

Not so long ago, when she had been having a good day, Mina had been talking to her, over names for the baby, she had a good idea for a girl. Ayla was her first choice, after her friend that died. Yuna had nothing wrong with that, if it did turn out to be a girl she'd be all for it. Mina had stopped speaking in riddles about the woman, and openly admitted what Yuna figured out a couple months ago, that Ayla was indeed Yuna's mum. The part where she'd said she was an Al Bhed woman that lived in bevelle, only allowed too because of who she was married too, was what made it obvious. She'd also said, awhile before that, that Ayla died when her daughter was about five, Yuna could clearly remember that was how old she was when her mum had died. Ayla would be a perfect name. Neither had much of an idea for a boy, more thinking was needed on that, naming him after his father wouldn't be a bad choice, but it'd be hurtful in a way too, because he was two hadn't had a proper talk since then, Yuna had been too sick, but there was more she wanted to talk to her about, Mina and Ayla had been really good friends, they must have known a lot about each other, Yuna wanted to know more about her mum, she couldn't remember much at all, and that hurt. So Mina could help her know more.

But that conversation would have to wait until Yuna wasn't puking buckets. The last conversation she had had that could count as a conversation was when Lulu had last talked to her, five days ago, where she'd mentioned Mina telling her that 'Jenna' was into her ninth month, meaning she would give birth very soon. Hope she'd be alright, Yuna was well aware that giving birth was very painful, she was worrying for herself about that too, but 'Jenna' was closer to that time than she was. To say how painful it is, it had been described to her in two ways, one a little rude, meaning she'd been told that giving birth was like taking a giant shit. But the other way it'd been described, to her sounded more painful: It's like trying to get a watermelon through something the size of a lemon, now that sounded like it'll hurt. Yuna spent the next week doing virtually nothing, she had been having an expecially bad week, she was feeling horribly exhausted from the amount of vommiting; morning sickness is hell, no need to question that. And she couldn't escape this until after her pregnancy.

She was lucky to have an alright day very soon after that, Mina had walked in to check on her, and decided to have a joke about the bucket actually being empty for once, that didn't help, wasn't really funny any way. But Yuna wasn't concerned about things like that, she was just happy that she had a day when she didn't feel sick non-stop, it got her a chance to sleep.

She had to wake up when Mina began calling her name, looking up she could see the woman was holding out a plate with food. Yuna picked herself out of bed, she saw it was nothing more than a sandwich and a glass of water. Mina put it down on the bedside table for her, she could see the younger girl was still rather tired, probably a little dizzy as well, it would be nice to not make her get up for her meal. Yuna went for the water first, her mouth felt dry, she'd been real thirsty. After that she began eating the sandwich, slowly because her throat was feeling sore, she worried that she was getting sick, not just morning sickness sick, but flu sort of sick. That was one of the worst things for someone pregnant.

Mina stayed in the room waiting to take the plate back, Giving Yuna a polite smile. Yuna only finished half the sandwich, she'd not much of an appetite lately, she hadn't a big one before, but it had gotten smaller around now. Mina lent down to pick up the plate, she was about to turn around and leave, but the other girl stopped her before she did.

"Hey, Mina?"

"Yeah?" She gave a slightly confused look.

"Can you tell me about Ayla?"

Mina looked surprised for a second, but the look left as fast as it had appeared. What she'd been asked wasn't weird in anyway, she didn't understand much why it had surprised her.

"What'll you want to know?"

"Anything really, I don't know much about her."

Mina let out a small laugh, She found it cute that Yuna wanted to know about Ayla, but she didn't voice the thought, she did nothing more than the laugh before. She had nothing wrong with talking about her, though not so long ago would it have been possible.

"I don't know where to start, A lot I can say." Mina looked like she was chewing on her tongue at the moment.

"You know you look shit loads like her, biggest difference is that she was blonde, and had those Al Bhed eyes, with those swirls that always really amused me for some reason, but you can remember that can't you?" She still appeared to be chewing her tongue.

"Yeah, but it's blury. I was young when she died after all" Yuna gave a shrug,

"That's understandable, I can't remember what my mum looked like, just know she had brown hair. She died when I was 6, never seen a picture of her, so my remembrance of her apperance dissappered pretty fast."

Yuna's expression went sad, "That's horrible"

"It's alright, we're not talking 'bout my troubles here now are we?, you don't have to worry about me" She smiled.

"Do you have any idea what people thought of me for being friends with an Al Bhed?" She gave a weird expression.

"I can have a guess"

"Thought I was absolutely crazy, strange they never said a thing about Braska, he was the one that was married to one, I was just a friend."

"I thought that would be it." Yuna sighed, "You did live in Bevelle after all. The whole world besides Al Bheds themselves would have thought that, Bevelle would just be worse."

"I also had people yelling at me because I said Machina wasn't the cause of Sin, I thought it was the people themselves. So they thought I was bloody nuts"

She paused and sighed, "Amik completely agrees with me, I'm not sure that's a good thing."

"She can read peoples minds, she'd probably be right wouldn't she. It should be a good thing."

"You haven't known her for as long as I have." Mina grumbled.

"Would you believe her reasonings for it, she said Machina got blamed because people will do anything to get the blame off of them? I sorta think that's right, but I don't think that excuse would spread like it did"

"I would, if you knew as much it makes perfect sense, when people are confused about something, if a higher power was to start making claims things about it, becauses it's about something they don't know much about, the lie would be believed, and it would spread like wild fire."

"You know if you put it that way it makes sense," Mina nodded slowly, "Amik refused to make sense when she 'explained' it"

Mina stopped for a second, "We just got extremely of track didn't we?"

"yeah" Yuna laughed quietly.

"I don't even like talking about this stuff, why did I go off track like that?" The older woman scatched her head,

"You're the one that did it, how would I know? I don't know you very well still" Yuna strugged, she wasn't sure what to be saying.

Mina stared at her in a funny way for a moment, Forcing back a just as strange looking smile,

"God you remind me of Ayla, It's making me want to hug you" The next sound she made sounded like a squeal.

"I remind you of her?" Yuna questioned,

"Besides the resemblance, you are sorta alike too, and it's reminding me of her," Her funny look disappeared to a mixture of annoyance and slight sadness.

"Now I need to shut up before I start crying...Oh too late"

Tears began falling, but she didn't make a sound,it was hard to say if she was sad, she for sure didn't look like it. Her tears could be caused by other things.

"She was a real nice friend wasn't she?" Yuna asked softly.

"Hmm" Mina paused in remembrance, "She was a wonderful woman, All polite like you, I guess you've probably inheritted it from her. She was a strong woman too, I can remember when people were insulting her, she didn't let the words get to her, she brushed them off like they were nothing. I could only wish to be able to do that, I didn't get it as bad as her, and I felt horrible everytime it happened... but then she'd be there to cheer me up, lik a good friend should, her words were so comforting."

Silence came into the room then, One lost to sweet memories of a time long gone, and one trying to remember lost ones.

"She sounds wonderful, if I only I could remember her better"

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><p><strong>Reviews shall help my insanity, for it will get much worse if my friend beats me.<strong>


	11. gone

**(3,341 words) well today I woke up feeling funny, and I guess I must not be Tifa today I must be Alice.**

**Disclaimer: no own ffx**

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><p>11) gone<p>

Not so long after Mina's and Yuna's conversation about Ayla, Yuna woke up to the sounds of screams. She could see out the window that it was very early in the morning, the sun had yet to have risen. There was only one explanation for the noises coming in from down the hall, Jenna was giving birth. Oh lord did it sound like she was in pain.

She could hear footsteps rushing about, no doubt the young children had been woken by the loudness of the house. Mina could also be heard, barely but it was possible to make out that it was her voice. She was trying to get Jenna to calm down a little. Even from a position where nothing could be seen it was predictable that maybe the young woman was so distracted by the pains of labour that she would have more trouble getting the baby out.

Yuna got up out of her bed and left the room, Lulu was near her gavering up the children. She had Sei in her arms and others clinging to her or running around her, asking why someone was screaming, they looked scared about it. Lulu was clearly having trouble stopping them from going in the direction of the loudness, so she did the nice thing and gave her some assistence. Two of the boys grabbed onto her hands While Luka begged to be picked up, which she had to attept convincing her she couldn't; she already had enough weight on her front, she felt like if she added more she might fall over.

"Emily's old enough to help with this isn't she?" Reffering to Mina's daughter, who constantly throughout Yuna's stay here had refused to do anything. She was a mature girl that could help her mum plenty, but did nothing instead.

"You know her, I'd bet she's trying to sleep as we speak" Lulu shook her head.

The screaming wasn't as loud at the moment, which made the kids quieter, but now it could be heard Jenna crying. She had to fill sorry for her, it must be causing her great pain. Though for now Yuna forced herself to try and ignore it, she had to get the kids back to their rooms. Which in short was a horrible ordeal, if one kid was taken back, anothe went running, still wondering why someone was making such louds sounds. Eventually they got them all back, after they forced Emily to help them, she was grumpy about being woken up, not like anyone would believe she could have been sleeping thoughout all of this.

After it all Lulu made Yuna return to her room, try to sleep she'd said, not like that could happen. But she said yes anyway and watched Lulu go to assist Mina.

The next couple hours were spent trying to sleep, but crying and screaming rang all around the house. Jenna wasn't healthy doing her preganancy, she'd heard Mina worrying over her, from time to time mumbling over the problems of it. It was no wonder why she was having it so hard now. Truly it terrified Yuna as well, because she knew in only around two months would she be going though it, maybe her own labour wouldn't be as bad, but you could never know that until it happened.

After an eternity of hearing all those sounds that were making her more scared of the near future with each passing second, she heard a cry, but one certainly different from before. she would have gotten up, but her tired eyes forced her to sleep, not giving her a say in the matter.

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><p>It was late morning when she awoke again, she sun high in the sky brighterning her room. She winced at the light then waited for her eyes to adjust. Her ears felt like they were ringing, which didn't seem right for all the loudness had ended hours ago for sure.<p>

She got up as she had intended to last night, but had fallen asleep instead. She walked past the lounge room and saw Mina half asleep on the couch. She tiptoed to her cheaking if she was actually asleep or not, but as she crept closer the woman made murmering sounds and looked up to the other. She blinked a couple times, obviously she felt tired, she had woken up extremely early and had to stay up for hours.

"Woah, what...time is it?" She talked slowly, adjusting her mind to what was going on.

"Not long before lunch time I'd say, I only just woke up" She shrugged.

"I have to make the kids lunch" While saying this she was already falling back asleep,

"I don't even think they're awake yet, you should worry about it then"

"That's good" Still getting closer to sleep.

"Jenna, it was sorta cute, fell right asleep afterwards, holding the little girl"

"She had a girl?"

But Mina didn't answer, she'd fallen back asleep.

Yuna sighed, she'd get no more answers about things, not from a sleeping person. So she was left with no other choice to see if Lulu was awake, she would be the only one that could have proper knowledge over what happened.

So she went in search for her, a relief being that she quickly found her, talking to Sei in the kitchen, Yuna stood near the doorway, being as quiet as could be, smiling the pair, watcing them in silence. Sei was in Lulu's arms, asking questions like all kids do, she doing her best answer them all, but of course at the speed he asked at, it wasn't simple. They looked rather cute together, she didn't want to disturb them, a moment like this wasn't something that would be possible to happen often, with all the other kids running around like lunatics. But it was appearing that beyond the two and Yuna herself, nobody else was awake, the kids had been woken up early, even they must have been tired.

"Zen Shyde tol me see was gonna eat ma hare" Sei was explaining something that had happened to him before, at the moment it was a fight with Shyde who was coming up with strange things to say in reply. The last one he had said, was when she had said she would eat his hair, if she'd translated his baby speech correctly.

"And why she'd say that?"

"Dunno?" He shrugged, his shift made Lulu's grasp slip a little but she fixed it up before it got worse.

"But she must have had a reason, then why'd she say it?"

"Tol ya, I dunno?" He strugged again and Lulu had to again adjust her grasp.

"See waj bein' shilly" He giggled.

"Don't call her silly, it's mean" She scolded him,

"But see waj"

"Even if she was you shouldn't have said it"

Yuna failed to stop a laugh, and caught Lulu's attention, when she had been doing her best not to.

"Yuna? How long have you been there?" Lulu asked in slight shock.

"Um...a couple minutes?" She admitted.

Lulu eyed her for a second then walked over to the younger woman.

"You could have said something"

"Sorry, You two looked so cute together, I didn't want to disturb you" She apologised.

"You don't have to do that"

Sei watched the other two curiously, giving up on paying attention he decided intead he wanted to play with Yuna's hair. Moving his position in Lulu's arms he reached out to grasp onto the end strands of her hair, Yuna came close to jumping from surprise, but then laughed at the cuteness of his antics.

"My god you are so adorable" She laughed some more.

Sei looked up from being distracted by the decent length brown hair.

"Danku" He smiled in his cute babyish way.

Though Yuna did want to keep talking to the kid, it did happen to be Lulu who she had come to talk to. She thought some over how to ask what she wanted to say, lucky enough it was made a litlle easier by Lulu noticing the deep thinking look that Yuna had.

"Do you want to ask something?" She didn't sound all that confused by it, it wasn't like she had much she could ask.

"Sort of" She got out while stuck thinking how to speak what she wanted to say.

Lulu put Sei down, and told him to go play with one of the other children, who Yuna was sure were not yet awake.

after he left Lulu turned back to Yuna,

"It's about 'Jenna' isn't it?"

She knew she shouldn't be surprised by how acurate the other was being, in this place not much was left to ask with the lack of going ons.

"Yeah, it is" The younger girl gave a snall nod.

"I didn't think it could be anything else." Lulu sighed.

"Is she alright?" Yuna got the question out quick, her previous thinking had made her curiosity rise.

"She's fine, but very exhausted, I don't think she's going to be waking up anytime soon, labour was not an easy one." Lulu answered in simple terms,

"Adding how she wasn't at her healthest, it was extremely hard on her, it would be on a woman still very healthy, but just much worse for someone in her condition."

Yuna felt sympathetic for her, it must have been horrible, it went on for hours not to mention. Such thoughts were only going to worsen her fear of the rather near future, she'd have to derail this trail of thoughts quick. But like Lulu had been reading her mind she came up with words of comfort..

"Don't worry like that Yuna, I don't think it would be as bad for you, you are much healther then she is. "

"She'll be alright now though right?" Yuna asked in a quiet voice, stuck in thoughts her mind shouldn't be focussing on.

"I hope she will, I don't doubt Mina will force her to stay for awhile longer. She's sick and a woman in her condition in no way would be able to take care of herself. Even I'm aware that Jenna probably wants to leave right away, she doesn't seem to have her mind in the right place at the moment, I do think she wouldn't want to be here if she had the choice."

Jenna didn't sound like she had the best life; after she left the place, what would happen to her? She was sick at the moment, but surely she wouldn't leave until she was better. But even if she got over that sickness, as Lulu said, she was mentally sick as well, no one here could help those problems. She really did feel sad for this woman; who not to mention, Something she'd heard from Mina months ago, the older woman was sure that Jenna was younger than Yuna. And Yuna herself was still very young, what kind of life had she led that had made it so bad so early on?

"Are you going to say anything more or are you going to stand there staring?" Lulu's voice came in to snap Yuna away from her thoughts,

"I'm sorry" She apologised fast, "I don't really have anything left to say, I'll guess I'll see if I can find anything to do" Her words almost came out in a mumble from her distracted her thoughts had left her.

"That's alright then" Lulu let out a small smile, before turning around and leaving the room. Yuna decided to see if Mina was any bit awake, she had nothing much else to do.

In the lounge room the woman she was searching for was half sprawled on the couch. Snoring loudly, so yes, she was still very much asleep. Yuna walked past her to the lounge room's other exit near Jenna's room. From inside she could hear quiet sleeping sounds. She knew she shouldn't but she slid the door open a crack. Jenna was sleeping on her side, her baby daughter held losely in her arms, it looked like a safe enough position that the little girl would be fine anyway. Something about this held such a strange feeling. Neither was it sad nor happy, but a perculiar mixture of both. Looking down at the sleeping mother and daughter, they looked so peaceful. It was a sad fact that the woman inteded to leaver her. For whatever her reasons were,it was still sad. The thoughts brought Yuna back to herself. Wasn't she planning to do the same? She lowered her hands to her stomach, a tear sliding silently down her face.

It was the same, both here wanted to leave the children. How she felt like hating herself at this moment, her reasons for this were too stupid. She'd been scared of what they would think of her, but surely after explaining they would have understood, they'd always been understanding of her. Why had she done this? A thought that came to mind many times throughout this all, but only now had it really dawned on her how horrible it truly was. She was basically abandoning a child to live with a stranger who already had her hands full with 8 others, oh what would Tidus think of her? But what was the point of realising this now? It was to late.

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><p>A week passed, That's how long it was before Yuna got a clear look of the new baby, she had been sleeping with her mother basically for the first week, who was still in her worsened condition, which Mina predicted would stay like that for awhile. The first time she'd gotten that clear look, was when Mina was holding her in her arms in the loungeroom, it was a rare occasion where the kids weren't going rabbid, as she had been told that she'd ditched them on Shyde and Luka's Dad who had came to visit them, but this quiet would only last a day.<p>

Yuna came up to Mina and took a seat next to her on the couch.

The baby girl was looking around the place her eyes unfocussed as they travelled from place to place. She was a pretty child, small strands of blondish hair was visible, of course at her age there was barely any, just enough to tell the colour. Her eyes were the strange part. They had the Al Bhed swirl in them, faded only slightly, but clear enough, Mina had been right about her having an Al Bhed father, She'd read her mothers mutterings right it would seem. But that wasn't the strange part. Though one of the baby girls's eyes was a pefect green most all Al Bhed's had, one of them was a very different colour, it wasn't them being dual coloured that got to Yuna, how could it when she had them herself. her other eye was a very deep red; dark enough that Yuna had mistaked it for being a funny looking black from further away, but at this close appoximity, it was clearly deep red. But even with the perculiar colour, all Mina could think about how she found it so adorable that both half Al Bhed girls she knew had dual coloured eyes, yes apparently it's adorable.

"What are the damn chances of it being both?" She sounded like she was close to squealing, that's the only way it could be easily described.

"A very big coincidence I guesss?" she answered almost absentmindedly, knowing that Mina had said that more to herself than to Yuna.

Mina looked to her and smiled brightly, she seemed happy, but even in all of this hints of something different crept through.

"You're still worried about Jenna aren't you?" She still spoke near absentmindedly, like she wasn't really sure she was speaking outloud.

"Sure I am, how could I not?" She asked in a confused manner.

"Don't know..."

Mina stared for a second, before it clicked that the younger was half in a trance.

She sighed, the got up, she gave the other a smile before adding her reason for what she was doing.

"You know last time Lulu got a look at her she was pouring her eyes out, might let her see her when she's like this eh?" She spoke and recieved no reply, for as she realised before the other was slowly going into a total trance.

Mina left the room as fast she could with a baby in her hands. Her leaving somehow brought yuna out of her trance when she realised no one was talking anymore.

She shook her head to clear it, before staring after Mina, she wanted to know what Lulu thought of the baby.

She saw them in the kitchen together, she wasn't very surprised to see that Sei was not with the other children and still at the house, he was extremely young after all. Lulu had him in her arms, she'd been doing that a lot lately, they truly did look cute together. Yuna had missed the start of the conversation, but she didn't have much trouble picking up what had resumedly been said before,

"How has she not been given a name yet, it has been a week already." Lulu was saying in surprise.

"Well her mum has been tired and won't talk to me, and I'm not naming her without her mothers opinion."

"That make sense"

"I don't even think she's thought of anything. Her mind like it is, I'm rather sure I've done a load more than she has." Mina continued.

"Well do you have any ideas then?" Lulu asked her,

"Sandara's my top choice, always found it pretty, but like I said I want to know what her mum thinks before I go and give her a name."

Admist this conversaion,Lulu and Mina near missed it, but it sounded like a door had closed. Mina turned her head,

"What could that be?" She walked along over to near Jenna's room, knowing that the sound had come from about here, so from that conclusion she opening the door to her room. But was shocked to find no one inside. She quickly realised that if she had gone anywhere but outside she would have passed someone else, but she hadn't. In a rush Mina handed the baby to Yuna who had walked over wondering what she was worrying about, before she could ask why Mina had sped out the door. Lulu came over to Yuna with Sei still in her arms. she looked at the way the other woman was staring at the the door, then switched her gaze to Jenna's empty room, it clicking immidiately what had happened.

Worry taking over her face.

Mina returned ten minute's later, by herself. she looked puffed out having trouble catching her breath.

"I couldn't find her" A clear sign of fear shown from her eyes.

She was gone.

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><p><strong>I will die if I don't get reviews, so I reccomned reviewing, it shall help my insanity.<strong>


	12. how time flies

**(1,645 words) just a short chapter, So i can continue with my loop and write other stuff. I haven't got a single review for this story, sometimes I'm tempted to laugh at it, but it still does make me sad, but who cares about that. Enjoy my new chappy.**

**Disclaimer: I no own ff ( we must steal it! who wants to help?)**

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><p><span>12) how time flies<span>

After Jenna had left, Mina for awhile kept going out to try and find her, ditching the children on the others in the house. She would always come back with nothing, she couldn't find her. She wasn't even able to find someone who'd seen someone fit a description like hers. One thing for sure was that she must be far away from Luca, wherever she had gone to.

This worried Mina greatly, she was in no health that she should be by herself, she was so sick, without someone to be there for her, no doubt would she worsen. She had been so weak around the end of her pregnancy, the few times she had come out of her room had reduced themselves to none at all. Mina had been having to bring her food to her room when that had started happening.

Not to mention, even if you ignored her sickness and problems with her mental health, her daughter was still extremely young. Sure she would have left eventually, but she shouldn't have done it straight away. The girl shouldn't be forced to be without her mother at her current age, it wasn't right. But they couldn't blame the woman for what she'd done, her mind had not been in the right place the whole time. Mina had said that the father of the baby had apparently left her; so having to see someone, who likely had resemblance to him, it must have brang back the pain she must have felt when he had left her. And that would have been horrible.

But still she was young, and all in all, it wasn't right.

Eventually, Mina gave up looking, she was coming up with no results; it was useless to try anymore. She had decided it would be better to look after the girl than search for the mother that she would never find. In the end, she called her Sandara. She had said before she found it a pretty name, so she had no reason not to. She had wanted to know what Jenna thought of what to call her, instead of doing it herself, but she had no choice now.

So she was called Sandara, strangely, it seemed to fit quite well. The half Al Bhed girl was very quiet for someone of her young age, she barely ever cried. Mina praised her for it, every other kid she was looking after had been total crybabies. She complained that some of them had woken up and startled bawling at the tiniest of sounds, it had been so infuriating. But now all of them were getting out of the habit. Which she was very glad for. So unless she started taking care of more children or if Yuna's baby was a one of those types of kids, she wouldn't have to deal with it again. For Sandara certainly wasn't one of those types. She was a little angel, it was a shame that her mother would never know of any of this. Every sign pointed to her being intent of staying out of her daughters life.

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><p>Yuna could remember one day when she'd seen Mina sitting on the same chair where she'd first gotten a look of the tiny girl. It was a rare occasion where Sandara was not staying quiet, it wasn't like it was loud, but she was making small crying sounds. Mina was doing her best to console her, she was developing bags under her eyes. All what she had been doing was taking it's toll on her, Yuna had never seen her look so tired. When she took a seat the older woman bearly took any notice of her being there. She really must have been lacking sleep. She looked horrible, her greyish chocolate hair was a mess, she wasn't doing good keeping her eyes open.<p>

"Are you alright?" The younger girl leaned foward a little after asking.

Mina gave a small jump, truly she hadn't notice anyone come up to her, far too distracted taking care of the baby in her arms that still had tears dripping off her face.

"Ah, hello Yu, I didn't see you there," She gave a half hearted attempt at a laugh.

"So I noticed." She wouldn't have jumped if she had.

"Apologies. I'm tired I guess," She shrugged her shoulders, "The kids have been more hypo lately, even with Lu's help it's still not being easy." She sighed.

"It's showing." Yuna said simply.

"Ahh, god," Mina wiped some sweat that was about to drip from her forehead, the weather in Luca was getting hotter, it sure wasn't helping a thing.

"You know, I was talking to Lulu about this earlier, I guess I feel like saying it to you as well,"

"What is it?" the younger one interupted.

"Some people have asked if they could adopt some of the kids, They know how hard this is on me. They want to give me some help. And I was thinking if I should say yes." She admitted.

"I know that Shyde and Luka's dad has gotten a better job and isn't having the financial problems he was having before, so soon he can take them back, I'm fine with that, we agreed from the beggining that of he became better off he would do that. But there is some other people that have asked. I said no to most of the offers, I'm not giving up Sei, I couldn't do that, I'm too close to Henah and his real mum to be able to do that. Some people found out about me looking after two pregnant woman and asked if they could look after their babies when they are born, you can guess I said no to that. I feel sorry that I couldn't help her mother like I would have liked, so I feel like I should make it up by raising her daughter in a good environment. For the other child it doesn't really need explanation. How could I possibly give away Ayla's grandchild to someone I barely know, it just seems wrong to me. So I know it means I can only take up one offer then, and if I won't be looking after Shyde and Luka as well, it makes the nine to six. It'll be more simpler I guess. My kids are growing up and I'm going to force Emily to help me more often. Sandara's an angel so I won't be having too much trouble with her."

Yuna nodded after she'd finished talking,

"So you're thinking of someone else raising Byx?" She asked, as according to what she said, he was the only one she'd ever let go of.

"Yeah pretty much, I'll be weird, he's been with me for seven years. I know I'll feel sad for it, but it's for the best. It's gonna be worst on him I should keep in mind. But it's not like I would never see him again, the ones that would want to adopt him and are ones I would let do so, do live in Luca. So I could still see him whenever I want. And he wouldn't have to be completely seperated from the person he sees as his mother." She gave a small smile,

"So it won't be all bad." She concluded.

"He'll understand if I explain it, he's a smart kid for his age. I just can't keep doing what I have been doing anymore. I'm not young any more, and I don't have much help; my husband died years ago, my youngest wouldn't even have a memory of him." An expression passed over her face for second, but she forced it away and looked at the child in her arms who had quieted down and now was breathing steadidly in her sleep. She made herself smile, Yuna couldn't tell if it was real or fake from her position.

"I should let my thoughts wander over to that, it's sad and I'd rather not think about it," Reffering to how she had previously mentioned the husband she had lost.

She uplifted her head to the side and showed the younger one the smile that had planted itself onto her tired face.

She decided then, that she would take the subject off of this.

"I still can't get over how much you look like your mum," Getting far off the before mentioned topic.

"It's still messing with me."

"I can understand I guess." Yuna gave a small shrug of her shoulders, feeling just a little embarrashed.

"Right now it's making me feel old thinking about it all." Mina said with a laugh,

"What, me looking like my mum?"

"Noy exactly, it's just that I can remember when she was pregnant so vividly. It's strange thinking about how you're her daughter, and now you are as well. Long story short it makes me feel old."

She gave a smile with hints of other feelings resting in her eyes as she looked at the eight month pregnant woman.

"Times a fun thing, always wants to go faster than you want it too. I have so many memories of when I was younger then what you are now. To me it doesn't seem like they had been so long ago, but in truth it's even longer than the entire time you've been alive. It's a scary thought how fast time flies."

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><p><strong>I actually had a whole other idea for what to write for this one, but then I was like meh, it's good enough like this. Even though my original idea was something I'd planned from the start, I scraped it because it fit better like this. not sure whether to feel bad about it.<strong>

**Reviews will give you a mountain load of cookies ( no I'm not bribing you, don't look at me like that) But in all serious, if anyone excluding Jess or Claire reads this, even if you don't want to, just give me a review. This story hasn't gotten a single one and I will go all emo if I don't get a single one when it's done. I'll feel stupid and I'm already self- negative enough. So just be a nice person, it doesn't have to be long, just like a sentence or something. I will be a good deed and it will be appreciated more than you know.**

**And now I have to go write down my english assignment because my printer has gone and dissapeared and it's due tomorrow.**

**I had written this all and then my internet randomly disappeared and so I've had to write this authers note twice ( just lucky for me my editing was saved.**


	13. miss you

**(1,353 words) This is a short chapter yes, but it was a total pain to write. I've never done anything even remotely similar, so if it's not good don't blame me, it was my first try. I would say it's the most important one in this part of the story, for obvious reasons.**

**Disclaimer: I no own ffx**

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><p><span>13) miss you<span>

Yuna opened her eyes to the darkness, slivers of light were slowly appearing from the the edges of the windows where the curtain didn't cover, as the sun rose over the horizen. She felt exhausted, she hadn't felt this bad for a long time. She'd never had to wake up like this.

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><p>She been at the end of her eighth month when it finally happened, she'd gone into labour. It was during the night when it had started. All had been black, she'd gone to bed around a hour or two earlier; Her water had broke then. She couldn't see a thing, but she knew what was happening as she felt the hot liquid run down her thighs. In a panic she called for Lulu, who had rushed into her room at the sound of her cries. By the time Mina had came pain had already begin to hit her in waves. It was horrible, each time they became more and more frequent hitting with more pain then before. She felt tears drip down her face as Lulu held onto her hand tightly, her face one of concern. Both woman saying words of support, her health had fallen right near the end of her pregnancy; they had reason to worry.<p>

Lulu stayed by her side while Mina moved to the end of the bed. As time passed her hair became sweat mattered as she tried to cope with the pain that felt like daggers stabbing her. A soaked cloth had been put on her burning forehead, while she sobbed out anguished tears. She'd been prepared for the pain, but she hadn't exected it to be like this. All she felt like doing was screaming, but she held back as long as she could. She knew it wouldn't help dull the pain any bit, all it would do would cause her throat pain. And at the moment she didn't want anymore.

Her hand squeezed Lulu's tighter, as the older woman moved strands of hair from her face, looking at her with worried eyes.

She wasn't sure how long this went on, all she could do was cry into Lulu's chest. She wanted it to end, but she knew it would have to get worse before it got better.

At some point Mina had begun to tell her to push, but it was some time after that her pain-focused mind could concentrate enough to do what she said. As she she had thought might happen, pain flared up the moment she tried. She screamed and dug her head into Lulu's side, more tears falling from her face.

"Yuna you have to try!" The woman she clung to commanded her, lifting her face away from her.

"I can't!"

"You don't have a choice!" She yelled reminding her.

Yuna looked up at her with a troubled expression, giving a small nod; she was right, she had no choice in this, she had to do it.

She bit her lip at the scream that begged to be let out as she pushed, so hard she tasted blood. She ignored the cut lip and continued in this way. Mina was telling her to push, Lulu's was offering words of comforts with her hand still wrapped around hers. But she barely heard a thing, behind closed lids all she could see was red. Her hands curled into fists, nails digging into her palm.

At some point she gave up and let herself scream, her throat began to throb but it was a distraction from the pain that covered the lower part of her body. Everywhere felt sore from having to sit in the same position for as long as she had. Her ears ringed and her vision was blurred from all the tears that fell from them. The words of encouragement were so hard to hear even if they were so close. She felt like letting her eyes close and going to sleep, but she couldn't let them, she had to keep herself awake until this was over.

Mina was saying something to her, but she felt to tired she couldn't make it out properly. She was struggling to keep herself up, she wanted so bad to lay her back down onto the soft matteress beneath her. Her sobs were dying in her throat, she didn't have the strength to sound them anymore. Her strong grip on the bed and Lulu'd hand slipped and she almost fell back. But she was stopped by a hand coming around her back, her redened eyes looked up at Lulu. She had a firm grip on her.

Yuna took some rushed breaths, her eyes threatened to flutter close. Her body couldn't take this anymore.

"Yuna, don't give up now." She begged, a tear dripped from a corner of her eye.

That was the first clear thing she'd heard in a long time.

"It's crowning!" Mina exclaimed, "Just a little more!"

A feeling of relief ran through her, it wasn't much longer now.

"Come on, this will be over soon." Lulu squeezed her her hand a small smile gracing her lips.

Yuna clung onto her tighter as she made the final pushes, screaming despite her horrible sore throat. Tears of pain ran down her face.

Mina went on with encouraging words which she couldn't make out over her own screams.

After all the hours of pain; she heard a cry that for once didn't belong to her. Her tired eyes went to her baby, but after the first second of seeing them; they finally closed and she fell exhausted onto the bed, falling fast into a slumber.

Mina cleaned the baby off and wrapped them in a blueish towel. She stepped over to Lulu whose hand was still grasping the baby's sleeping mother.

A shadow of a smile lit her face, below sunken eyes. Lulu looked at the child in her friend's arms, they were so tiny.

"It's a boy." She whispered in a drousy tone, her gaze slipping down to his mother whose tear stained face looked so peacful now that sleep had over taken her.

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><p>In the hours afterwards, Yuna lay awake staring at the child that she could barely believe was her own son. Wrapped up in a blanket next to her in the darkness of the room. The light that dripped in was enough to see his face. It held a peaceful expression of sleep, she guessed it must have been much different than what had been earlier. But she had fallen asleep too fast before and hadn't seen him then.<p>

She ran her hand gently over his bold baby head, feeling the tiniest hairs. She forced back tears that wanted to fall, she didn't know what to feel right now. She was happy that he was healthy and fine, but so many things stopped this from being the happy moment it coud be. This wouldn't last long, soon she would be gone. But that was the fault of her own stupidity, she had no one to blame but herself. At this time she wished that his father was with her more than she had throughout the entire time of her preganancy.

"What would you think of me for doing this?" She whispered to someone that would never hear.

"It's wrong isn't it, leaving our son to be with someone that already has so much to deal with. What was I thinking letting myself do this?" She took an unsteady breath in.

She let the tears she'd been holding back fall down and kissed her son's small forehead. Before letting herself fall back into the recesses of sleep she said one more thing,

"I miss you Tidus."

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><p><strong>now why did I name the chapter after something in the last sentence? that would be because I couldn't actually think of a name despite what happened in this one. stupid right?<strong>

**Reviews will be appreciated more than you know and shall help with my sanity.**

**Arigatou gozaimasu for reading**


	14. I love you

**(3,824 words) I think this is the longest chapter in this story, and it isn't even that long. I like this chapter, there is only one more to go after all, and that is more of an epilogue of sorts. I feel kinda sad that Mina doesn't really get to appear anymore (this is a three part series keep in mind) I like her character very much, of course there was things I had planned that I scrapped and I didn't get to show all of her personality as I would have liked. Her hair is the perfect colour of chocolate (excluding a couple of grays) and it makes me hungry. But anyway, enjoy the chapter whoever is reading this (I don't have an idea, no ones given me a review)**

**Disclaimer: If I owned this it wouldn't be on fanfiction, figure that one out**

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><p><em><span>14) I love you<span>_

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><p>Yuna woke up to the quiet sounds similar to the sound of mumbling. Opening her eyes a crack she saw the baby boy in her arms waking up ever so slowy. She ran her fingers over his tiny head, giggling at the babyish sound he made in response. He was still so small, so precious.<p>

Two weeks had passed since his birth, Mina said he was too young to be seperated from his mother at this point in time. She was glad, because it meant that she could be with her son for longer, even if it was such a small amount of time if you compared it to the rest of his life. A tear slipped down her face at the thought, she let it fall off her chin instead of wiping it off. The cold tear was refreshing on her warm face.

She held him closer, smiling to herself sadly. She loved him so much already, the thought of letting him go was too much for her to take. She wished with all her heart for this to be easier for her right now. But that was nothing more than a wish, after all.

She turned her head and lifted an arm, the other holding her son closer to her keeping him as safe as she could. She opened up the curtains just slightly, letting the sun drown the room in its light.

Her body blocked the rays and didn't touch him, so the light couldn't batter his closed eyes and he was left asleep. She would let him sleep for as long as the little guy wanted to, she didn't feel like returning to the world of dreams, but she could instead watch his sleeping baby face. To her that was the much better option, she would take every second she had with him. Dreading the moment that could very well be the last.

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><p>Mina peaked in through the ajar door to see the younger woman holding her son so lovingly. She smiled warmly at the sight before leaving, shutting the door as quiet as she could; she would let them be by themselves, she didn't want to disturb them just yet.<p>

Moving to the kitchen she found her friend with Sei in her lap like he usually was now.

"You could take him back with you, you know Lu?" Mina began resting a sore shoulder on the door's side.

Lulu looked up at her questionly before realising what she had meant.

"I couldn't.." She stutted looking for words, "It's been far too long. It would be too weird." She quickly said, but a look of pain flashed in her eyes as the words left her mouth.

Mina gave a smile with a sad look in her eyes,

"If not then when you go back at least tell Wakka, he deserves to know. For more reasons than one." Mina begged her sternly crossing her arms before moving into a chair adjecent to Sei and the woman he had no idea was actually his mother.

"If things become more than they are, then I'll tell him. I would feel sick of myself if I didn't say a word."

"Damn right will they be more than they are. You're closer to him already aint'cha?" The chocolate brown accused her.

"Maybe," Her cheeks redened for a second but she shock it off and returned her attention to the redhead in her arms.

"yeah, 'maybe' Because that's an answer all right." She chuckled almost evily.

"Maba maba!" Sei giggled in his adorable baby voice, tugging on Lulu's arms,

"Maba maba!"

"Maybe." She corrected him hoping it might do something. He stared tilting his head side ways like he thought it would make better sense sideways.

"Mabeee" He drawled looking at the one in front of him with face showing concentrating, but broke the moment by bursting out laughing,

"Mabe mabe mabe!" He squealed.

Mina stiffled a laugh at his antics,

"God I wish my kids were still like that, they are way too quiet! Oh and don't get me started on Emily!"

"So how are you doing without the others?" Lulu put in stoping her from going on.

Mina stared at her blankly for a second before giving a ghost of a smile, Sei watched both with a blank stare.

Shyde and luka's father had taken them back, so they were no longer here. Byx had been adopted by a nice young couple living in the southen part of Luka, they hadn't been able to have children thanks to some unfoutunate circumtances on the wifes side.

"Different." Was the only thing She could say. "I know I've still got my own, as well as Sei and Sandara," She nodded towards the room where the only other adult was, holding her son tightly. "And of course the little bubba." She smiled with hints of something more negative.

"Doesn't even have a name yet eh?" Lulu said the obvious when she had space between her son'd never ending questions.

"Not yet, I don't really want to help her with that, but I still want to name him. Stupid right? It should be a mother to name the kid, taking into consideration they don't have a father around who else deserves more to give them a name." she put her chin on the table and watching her friend deal with her son.

After five minutes she spoke again,

"I can remember Ayla telling me if she ever had a son she would have called him Zann."

"Zann? I thought you didn't want to help with the naming?" She said nothing more as she was bombarded with more questions from the child on her lap.

"I'm not, But speaking about names reminded me of that conversation." The aging woman inhaled deeply, "Such a shame she never got that son, she was trying to too."

"I think that was just a little too much information," She was told sharply.

"Oh so, I don't know a single married couple that has never done it. Why should it be too much information." Mina put her hands on her hips, a confident pose, which made her barely notice her friend speaking to her son, doing her best to make sure he wouldn't go and repeat any of that conversation.

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><p>Yuna woke up from a sleep that she hadn't noticed she'd fallen into, to find her son wrapping tiny fingers into her hair. Letting out a giggle she untangled the brown strands from his small baby hands.<p>

She heard the sound of a door opening and looked up to see Mina sneaking in, she stopped at noticing Yuna staring, giving a smile she put down a plate on a bedside table.

"Quiet one isn't he?" She grinned, tilting her head at Yuna and the tiny child.

"Y-yeah." She blushed slightly.

"None of mine were like that," Mina shook her head recurring the memories of times before.

"He'll start crying soon I bet, he's gonna have to be hungry sometime." She shrugged with a laugh.

"Speaking of being hungry, I've got some breakfast for you. I'll take him from your hands for a minute so you can."

"That's fine," She said pulling herself up, Mina taking the child from his mother's arms so she could eat the food set aside for her.

Mina chuckled looking at the boy stare at her in question with his sparkling blue eyes. They were different from his mother's, but she could see plenty resemblance to Yuna in him.

"He can't keep going on without a name you know? Do you even have any ideas for one?" She asked before his eye s distracted her too much.

"I know, but no matter how much I try to think nothing comes to mind. Keep in mind it is a human being we're talking about here. It's not easy to just pull one out of thin air." She said after she swallowed a bunch of food she'd bitten of in one bite.

"Point taken, but you still have to give him one." Mina sat down on the bed near the younger woman, holding onto the baby tightly.

"I was talking to Lulu about a conversation I had with Ayla. Something 'bout what name Ayla would give if she had a boy."

"Really?" Yuna finished eating and took back her son from Mina's arms, "I thought you didn't want to help with naming?"

"I don't," The older woman flapped her arms left and right,

"I was just saying it because all this naming stuff made me remember the conversation. That's all." She claimed.

"Really," Yuna was still being suspicious, "So what was the name?"

Mina gave her a questioning look, "So why do you want to know?" She tilted in Yuna's direction.

"Because I do is that an answer?"

Mina let out a big sigh, "God you are still such a kid," She rolled her eyes.

"I never liked the name much, but she did for some reason or another." The woman shrugged,

"And it was?" Still questioning her.

"Zann."

"Zann?" She repeated, "It's not bad, why don't you like it?"

"I don't know, just never had. I didn't say it to Ayla, she probably would have called it silly to dislike a perfectly good name."

"Well there's nothing wrong with it after all," Yuna smiled.

"There's something about the way you're smiling that I don't trust." Mina looked at her sneaky eyed.

"What? Theres nothing wrong with the way I'm smiling." She claimed.

"Do you like the name?" Mina asked like it was the weirdest thing she could be asked.

"There is nothing wrong with naming someone after someone that didn't get to exist thanks to unfortunate circumstances."

"You mean because Ayla died before she could have a son?

"Yeah," Yuna held her son closer to her.

"Geez, sometimes it's still so easy to see how young you are."

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><p>She didn't stay for very longer, soon was the day that she and Lulu had to leave. She had been dreading this moment for months; and finally it was now. Yuna's son, who despite Mina seeing it as somewhat immature she did in the end call him Zann. She could understand the older woman not seeing all of the meaning, after all she usually did her best no to let her mind wonder over to things about Ayla; It was for the best as the bittersweet memories of her made Mina depressed.<p>

Zann was still so small and young; it hurt her that she was intent on leaving him at such an age. But too much had happened, she had a feeling that everything she was doing was wrong; both for her reasons to bring him back or leaving him with Mina.

In everything, seeing as what she was doing, she was glad it would be Mina there for him. She was a wonderful and strong woman, and a great mother. Sure her eldest wasn't the best but she doubted any of the others would turn out as neglectful and mean like Emily. Her sons seemed to be fine and so did Sei. She was sure Zann and the other baby Sandara would be safe in the woman's hands.

Yuna could tell Lulu didn't like having to leave Sei again, but she knew that seeing the little boy again had given her the courage to tell Wakka about him. He was after all, his family as well.

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><p>On the day they were leaving, Yuna found herself holding onto Zann tightly, she didn't want to up and leave. Even having knowing him for so little she already loved him so much she couldn't stand it. Soon tears had began falling no matter how much she didn't want to let her emotions show. She didn't want sadness taking over her, she needed to be stronger than this.<p>

But she knew she wasn't strong enough to widthstand this, already so much had happened to her, this was far too much. Against what she wanted so desperately the tears continued to fall and soon she was sobbing her heart out. Yuna lay on the bed, keeping the tiny child close to her heart, while curled into a ball. She had known it would hurt, it would be so painful. Even with expecting what was to come, she hadn't expected it to be like this, her heart felt like it was being ripped into pieces violently, a part felt like it was already gone, and now another part was leaving the rest. It was the part that she was leaving with the sleeping baby in her arms. She felt so stupid in this moment considering it could have been avoided, would the people of Besaid really judge her? No they would have understood, they knew what type of person she was. No way would she have done anything of the kind with someone she didn't love. When it could be explained so easily what was the point of this?

It had only been her being stupid and worrying over something not true. So here she was trapped in sobs, everything else lost to her for the time being, all that mattered in this moment was the boy in her arms; nothing else would ever be as important to her.

In a world of her own, she was pulled from it by a hand softly coming down and resting on her head. Lifting up her tearstained face she saw Lulu looking down with an understanding look.

"I know you don't want to leave, I've gone through it before. It's not going to be easy."

She moved a hand through the younger one's brown hair, that was in no way short anymore.

"I know," she forced out through the tears,

No longer did she have a mindset like others wouldn't understand these problems, not when Lulu had gone through the same as her. She understood fully just how much this hurt. She decided then that for the sake of everyone, she would be strong, she wouldn't fake it this time,she would make it the truth.

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><p>Midday was when they were set to leave, The pain hadn't subsided in the least, but she was able to stop herself from pouring her eyes out now, even if you could tell it clearly from the marks on her face and redened eyes.<p>

"You'll be alright won't you?" Mina asked her hoping fully for the truth, she knew well what the girl was going through despite never having gone through it herself. She had met many in her situation, most let the pain destroy them.

"As best as I can." She answered as truthfully as possible. Mina smiled in reply, if Yuna had simply said she'd be fine straight off then she knew it would have been a lie. At least the former summoner was being more open about her problems unlike so many times before.

"That's good," She grinned her little 'Mina grin' That had become a common sight for her. Looking to the side the two watched as a hypoactive Sei was clinging to Lulu's leg, whether he knew the woman was his mother or not, he loved her a lot regardless.

"Will you be alright?" Yuna asked her then, as they watched Lulu untangle Sei's arms from her, giving him a smile filled with sincere happiness but with a despaired look in her eye.

"I'll be alright, Emily ain't a probem any more. Zann and Sandara are good and quiet so that's all fine. My only problem is if Sei succssessfully becomes a bad influence on my boys." She laughed a proper laugh,

"Guess I should go hunt down that niece of mine. Amik is so helpful when she's around even if she is a lunatic. Damn that friend of her's for taking her away again." She shrugged.

"But all in all, I guess I'm gonna by fine."

They both smiled truthly at eachother. It made Mina happy, that even if Yuna was sadened at the moment, she wasn't going to let her sadness win out, in the end her strength had beaten it. She was proud of the woman who was still so young, she had only just passed 18, but she wasn't letting herself fall under.

After an eternity of trying Lulu got Sei to stop clinging to her, her expression was filled with almost every emotion you could have. She stood up apologising to the tiny redhead, who looked up at her with his sweet childlike innocence.

Yuna beamed at them, she wondered if maybe he did know who she was, maybe they had a connection that made no words have to be spoken.

She wondered then, that if she saw the little baby in her arms somewhere down the track, would he know who she was? Even without someone having to tell him? A part of her wished for it dearly, she did at least want him to know something about her, even if she couldn't raise him. A silent tear slid down her face, it was noticed by the others, but they didn't worry for her because her expression was not at all one of sadness.

She kissed Zann's tiny forehead as the tear fell off her chin, handing him slowly to Mina, knowing full well this might be the last time she could hold him like that.

"Look after him 'kay?" She smiled warmly, Wiping at her eyes for more tears that threatened to fall.

Mina looked to the side at Lulu, who with her eyes said the same message, for both boys.

Turning her gaze back to Yuna, she simply said,

"You know I will Yuna, I'll give him the best life I can. That's a promise." She nodded.

With one last smile the two turned to leave, Zann woke slowly and watched curiously at the two waving back in his direction, and Sei and Mina waved back happily, Sei jumping up and down as well.

After they disappeared from sight, Mina gripped Sei's hand to lead him back with her inside.

"Your patients are leaving." Emily said from the doorframe,

Her mother rolled her eyes, and informed her,

"I know sweetie, and try 'friends' next time why don'cha?"

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><p>Yuna stood near the top of Luca, the boat had yet to arrive, and they were passing the time waiting for it to arrive. She wrapped her arms around the railings, feeling the bump that was barely there anymore.<p>

She remembered this place clearly, it was where she had told Tidus to laugh because he was feeling sad, and the result was a very failed attempt at a fake laugh. She hadn't expected it to come out as so bad, but when it had, all she felt like doing was laughing for reasons she had been yet to figure out. But for the sheer heck of it she instead of laughing properly made it sound as fake and forced as his. By then it had gotten all too much and they burst into fits of real laughter, so much she had felt tears well up in her eyes. She had been gasping for breath afterwards, and everyone in the proximatety had the feeling they'd gone nuts. It was one of her favourite memories in all of its stupidity, partly because it was fun partly because he was there with her.

"Are you really alright?" Lulu's questioning voice cut into her thoughts, looking up she saw the woman watching her curiously; she had thoughts that that might have been on her mind.

"Yeah, it hurts, but I'm alright. It's not like it's the end of my life, I can't let it pull me under. I'm sure Tidus wouldn't want me to end up that way from something that was partially his fault. I'd hate myself for it and I just wouldn't be able to stand that." She shook her head, she always wondered what he would think of her for all of this, but he was gone and she couldn't do a thing about it. But like she said she couldn't let her negative emotions pull her under like they had before, she was stronger than that.

She saw Lulu smile from the corner of her eye as she turned back to the horizon.

"Bet they'd be excited to see us again hah?" Yuna giggled.

"Well it has been almost a year." Lulu said and paused before speaking again.

"We should get going, the boat will be here soon."

"Yeah," The younger one nodded. "But, can I stay here for a minute longer."

Lulu looked at her wodering why, but it clicked quickly and she gave her a curt nod.

"Fine, but don't be too long, can't have you missing the boat."

She walked past her after running a hand through her brown locks, giving her an all knowing smile.

After Lulu left Yuna changed her gaze from looking at the spot she'd just left to looking out at the waters horizon. Slowly she found herself lifting her hand to her mouth, and whistling quietly. She accepted now that no one would come, there wasn't a real point in hoping; but there was nothing wrong with clinging to that hope just a little while longer. As the sun's rays hit her, she found herself smiling, not knowing whether it was real or fake. Finally she left the spot to go follow where Lulu had gone to.

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><p><strong>Yaaay, done, now I can get this burning lappy of my lap and go have a cup of tea while letting this cool down and starting the next chappie of REI.<strong>

**Thanks for reading, hope you liked, Review if you can be bothered I would sincerely love you if you do.**


	15. Epilogue

**(1,191 words) Yes this is the last chapter, this has been a short story hasn't it? But it's alright anyway. This is a milestone for me, it's the first time I've ever finished a story before, and I have some I started years ago. This began in september, so not even a year, that's amazing for someone like me. I'm really happy about it, despite never getting a review from anyone (excluding seeker of the skies but she is my sister and she knows how self-negative I am) Well enjoy who is actually reading this (as I mentioned before I honestly don't know who any of you guys are)**

**Disclaimer: If I owned this Tidus would be called chicken and Seymour's head would have exloded when he died.**

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><p>15) Epilogue<p>

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><p>Yuna woke up on her bed, she could feel the room swaying slightly. It was so much like a boat, but had this perculiar sense of freedom about the way it moved. Though it could be called a ship, the Celsius was anything but.<p>

It had been approximately two years since Sin had been killed, much had changed in that short time. She had missed plenty of this, not like she would admit to it any time soon. Some people had moved on from anything Yevon related, while some still wanted to cling to a belief. When you have lived your whole life believing in something it would be near impossible to give it up. But that was the reason new Yevon existed after all, she was surprised it did happen to have young members in it at all. Most young people could far more easier give up their previous beliefs taking into consideration how little time they had spent believing in it and how many years they still had to live.

The brunette raised herself up,staring out into the blue skies beyond. Shes still hadn't gotten used to the sight, but after all it wasn't that long since she had been on the ship. She would have plenty of time to. She moved her gaze back to the room. It was large, two beds were positioned besides her, despite the number of people here,there was only three in total. The reason behind that happened to be because no one would sleep at the same time as others, they didn't have an large need for more. Smiling to herself she walked down the steps back to the bridge, Rikku probably wanted to talk to her about something or another.

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><p>At the bridge Yuna was greeted by a glomp from her hyper active Al Bhed friend, giving her a cheery smile and exclaiming,<p>

"Yunie!"

She returned the smile whole heartedly, sometimes she was surprised herself that she could feel so geniunely happy considering all what had happened in her past.

Rikku dived right in to what they were doing next, not skipping any detail even though she spoke so fast. The bright girl could make others happy with that nature brightness of hers, Yuna had always enjoyed that about her. But of course if she felt sad you could feel that same emotion getting to you as well.

She was the reason she was here now. when Yuna had returned to Besaid, life had been anything but eventful. It didn't help keep her mind away from Zann. But her smiles weren't fake, she did feel sad that she couldn't be with him, but she knew not to let it get her down. She was more than surprised when Rikku came to visit her, but she had came for more than a simple visit. She had had a video sphere, and on it was someone who looked remarkably similar to the one she wanted to see more than anyone else. Though both Lulu and Wakka had been uncertain whether it was him, and she wasn't sure herself, she couldn't let the chance to see him again slip though her hands. How could she after all that happened to her?

And even excluding that, going with Rikku would be a new experience. Her life had been more plainer than it had ever been, and she needed more than that; she was still young after all.

The others on the Celsius were really nice to her as well, she enjoyed it here a lot.

Paine was kinda strange though, not like she had any thing against her, she wasn't one to talk but she seemed somewhat nice anyway. She had out of everyone known her for the least. She had a queer sense of familiarity about her, despite Yuna being sure she's never even met someone like her. she closest would be a girl with one of her eye's a similar colour to the red of Paine's. And even still that girl's were a much different shade.

Being caught in a small trance she missed some of what Rikku had been going on about, but got the main points, they had something to do tommorow. She still felt tired even after her rest so she decided to go and have another one. She left she bridge giving Rikku a quick wave, who pouted childishly but didn't force her to stay.

When she got in the elevator she from a sense of boredom didn't click the cabin, instead she picked a little something else. She had been atop of a ship before, it would have been a fantastic experience if it wasn't for a massive dragon attacking them. She wanted to know what it was like without such a worry.

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><p>Outside the wind blew harshly, it was freezing against her skin but it felt so wonderful she couldn't care less. She walked to the middle where the winds were so strong she was amazed they didn't push her off. She put herself into a strong stance just in case of anything. The winds batted at her clothes, her long ponytail swung around moving rapidly. She had cut her hair to almost it's previous length when she had gotten back to Besaid, but kept a small part with she tied into a ponytail. Afterwards she had just let the brown strands grow longer. holding up a hand to cover the sun's golden ways from getting in her eyes, she smiled up at the blue, blue sky.<p>

There was plenty of things she wish had went differently, but she was confident in not letting them get her down. So much had happened, things that so little actually know about; some things that plenty were aware of.

Her hand gently moved down and placed themselves atop her stomach, sure so little knew of her precious Zann, he was still a secret, but none of that stopped her from loving him like she did. She could feel an ache in her chest at the thought of the little guy, she just hoped to god Mina was treating him well. But she knew that woman would never break her promise, to her or Lulu. She would give both Zann and Sei the best damn life she could. That woman had changed quickly from a stranger to a friend, out of everybody she could choose to look after her son other than her she would be at the top of the list.

She wished that even if it was only once that she could see him again, whether she could hold him in her arms or not, she wished to at least see his face.

To the cloudless sky, she said in a voice she barely heard herself.

"I love you, both of you." She smiled as a tear fell down her warm cheek.

FIN

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><p><strong>And done, amazing. I would feel more happy if it wasn't for the fact that this is a three part series, so technicly it's not done, just this part is.<strong>

**Well, if you can be bothered (And I know most of you will not pay any attention to this at all) Maybe you could drop by and give me a little congradulations for passing this milestone, you know, fellow author to fellow author, that kind of thing. Or maybe even simply tell me what you thought of this story, personally I don't see it as one of my bests, it was far too repeatitive in parts. I'm curious to know what people did think of this, after all you aren't going to get another chance.**

**Arigatou gozaimasu for reading this from start to end, and as always reviews shall be much appreciated and will help my remaining sanity to stay intact.**

**Jya mata ne.**


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